Kaya tayo nahihirapan makita ang kakayanan natin kasi nakatingin tayo sa iba. Nakatingin tayo sa kung ano meron sila na maganda na wala ka. “Bakit sya ganun?” Bakit may ganun sya ako wala” “Bakit sya nagagawa nya yun, bakit ako hindi” “Buti pa sya..”
Insecurities. Low self-esteem.
Napaisip ako at habang patuloy na nagpapakita ng revelations si Lord sa akin. Binulong nya sa akin “Tumitingin ka kasi sa iba, Tingin ka kasi sa sarili mo.”
Do not get me wrong. Masaya ako sa kasiyahan at success ng iba. Masaya akong makita kapag may mga blessings ang iba, patunay na napakabuti ng Dios hindi lang sa akin kundi sa lahat. May mga panahon lang talga nang dahil sa mga circumstances sa buhay, hindi ko maiwasang magtanong kung bakit naging ganito ako sa sarili ko. Masyado ko ba nilaglag, ganern bes! Ang baba e, to the lowest level, pabagsak na ko nun e.
Unti unti pinakita sakin ni Lord ang mga kalakasan ko. Nung mga panahon na na-depress ako, syempre, hindi mo talaga makita na capable ka. Lahat negative. Ang pangit. Hindi maganda ang depression. Hindi sya nakakatuwa. Nakakaloka sya, literally. Pero tinulungan at tinuturuan ako ni Lord how to deal with it. Nagbasa ako ng mga motivational books, mga personality development, spiritual and inspirational books. Nagexercise ako atbp.
I do not compare my life to others in a negative way. Naniniwala ako na iba iba talaga tayo ng destinasyon sa buhay, iba iba ang nararanasan at tinatahak natin. Nasa sa atin na kung paano natin harapin at iba’t ibang challenges na meron tayo. Kung paano tayo maging grateful and content.
Dumating lang talaga sa point ng buhay ko na ayaw ko na. Wala na! Hindi ko na gusto gumalaw at sumubok ulit. Ayaw ko na harapin yun kaba at takot. Tapos nakatingin lang ako sa iba na nakakatuwa na nagagawa nila mga yun habang binaba ko ang sarili ko, kelan kaya ako? Ang tanong ko.
“Tumitingin ka kasi sa iba, tingin ka sa sarili mo”
I know God wants me to look at Him all the time. That’s the only way I could survive pero gusto ipa-alala sa akin ni Lord na tumingin ako sa sarili ko kung paano nya ako nilikhang kahanga-hanga! O diba?
Kaya nagumpisa ako tignan mga kaya kong gawin, mga bagay na magaling ako, mga talento na binigay sa akin. Andyan na e, andito lang sya, kung bakit hindi ko mailabas at hindi ko makita kasi naging busy ako tumingin sa iba. Naging busy ako sa liwanag ng iba habang ang ilaw ko napundi na.
Hindi masamang mahalin ang sarili. Naniniwala nga ako na dapat matutunan mo muna talagang mahalin ang sarili bago masabing kaya mo na magmahal ng iba. Hindi pagiging selfish ang pagtanggap at pagmamahal sa sarili. Self-love ang tawag dun.
We all know and heard about how God created us uniquely, fearfully and wonderfully. But sometimes we are busy looking at others strength that we don’t have time to look how awesome we are. He made us. Hindi sya nagkamali na nilikha nya tayo. Hindi sya nagkamaling ibigay yung mga kakayanan natin. Na sa atin na e. Ilabas na lang!
Express na bes!
Kung iisa isahin natin ang strengths, abilities na binigay sa atin ni Lord at ititigil na natin ang mga negatibong paniniwala sa sarili, madami tayo ma-achieve, malayo mararating natin. Hindi ko sinasabing maging mayabang na tayo kasi puro sarili ang sinasabi ko dito. Ang point ko, kung isa ka sa mga tao na mahilig at nageenjoy na mag nega thoughts, parang ako, gising gising din tayo! Marami tayong magagawang maganda at dakila. Tingin ka sa sarili mo at maniwala ka na kaya mo.
I never thought I will be doing international ministry. I was only planning to join them and get some lessons and expectant for Gods revelations in my life. But I loved it when he calls you to do something impromptu, and yet it turned out great because you did it for Him, for His glory.
I and with some of the leaders of our church in Aruba attended a General Conference of Congregational Holiness Church, our mother church in Georgia. It was held in Gainesville, GA. God had been busy revealing many things to me. Excitingly, he let me see not only one state.
Our pastor, Ptr Roel Tangco was assigned to preach in CHC Alabama. It was a great experience. His wife and I were able to lead a worship song as well. Unexpected. God is so good, I love God’s surprises.
While on the road, I was in my thoughts. “God, you are amazing. I love doing things for you. I feel like I am fulfilling what I am called. Thank you for the opportunity!”
Does a good career will make you feel successful, fulfilled? I don’t think so. I heard this from my sister Queen when we talk about ministries “Success is doing what God wants you to do” You’ll only feel the satisfaction in your life if you know in your heart that you are doing what God wants you to do.
What a joy we have in Jesus.
God says, “I will use you mightily if you are willing. Make yourself available.”
It was a great Sunday Worship Service.
Anna Ruby Falls
They didn’t only bring us to the conference for the spritual matter, they brought us also to some places to see attractions. God bless them. We went to Anna Ruby Falls. Nice View 🙂
While walking going to the water falls, God reminded me of His Word.
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.
I will never lack anything because God is my provider. The green trees remind me of His peace in my darkest days. He never let me fall, he chases me all the time and when I tend to go the wrong way, the other way, he never let me get lost. The woods represent the distraction in our life, we may go in a different way but He will show the path right back to His presence, secured, loved, peaceful, where I belong. He corrects me and teaches me, it may be a hard discipline but He does that to mold me, to make me a better one.
“Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life”
Cabbage Patch Kids
A doll in a cabbage. It’s cool how this attraction was created. Read the Legend of the Cabbage Patch Kids on their official site. But really dolls here are for sale, they are actually adopted by people. When you buy, they will give you baby’s birth certificate. It is a perfect place for babies and kids who want to adopt a baby doll.
Are you ready to visit the babies in this hospital? Hehe
Who wants to adopt this little one? HAHA
It’s so good to be young, huh? Should I get one for me?
I think I will try to make my own baby first, and adopt one day? What do you think?
Georgia – Peach Market/Farm
Georgia is known as Peach State. We went here just to have some fresh peach ice cream. They also sell strawberries, apples etc. I was just focused on peach, I wasn’t able to check other products they have. But what good about here is, they’re fresh.
Peach Ice cream!!!!!
First time to see an apple tree. Thank you, Jesus! Happy kid..
There’s a store there who sells this stuff, I love rustic!
Free Chapel Worship Center
Attended Worship Service at Free Chapel. They are amazing! It’s my second time seeing Pastor Jentezen Franklin, an American pastor, author and can be seen on television too. He is the senior Pastor of Free Chapel Worship Center. He is a great preacher.
It was Father’s day when we attended the service. He encouraged the fathers to be a Man of Word, a man that obeys His Word so they could be a good example for their children. Truly, that the Word, the Bible is the lamp unto our feet and a light unto our path. Love his heart. God bless him!
This experience was a blast! I thank God for everything. God is so good. When God plans, it is always the best. One thing I am challenged to do, expect more from HIM. He is a great God! HE can do great things. Dare to believe!
I was hesitant to post cheesy stuff about my love life but I realized, I should be really grateful that God has given me this kind of relationship. To be honest, I don’t want to sound bragging. I used to appreciate him in social media more often, but there was a time someone told me that she’s jealous that I found someone like him. I am thankful but really, I don’t want to be a source of someone’s sadness or insecurities. They will start to think like “Why I don’t have this kind of relationship” or “I wish my man is like that” etc etc. or sometimes we compare.
(Pinakita ko talaga ang likes para dagdagan nyo! HAHA Joke!)
But ladies, let me tell you this. There is no such thing as a perfect relationship and perfect person. We all have weaknesses, shouldn’t compare yours to others. God has a different story for us and different way of making it fun and lovely. What makes a relationship beautiful is when you let HIM write your story and let Him be the center of it. I am not bragging how perfect and good mine is, I am boasting about how God teaches us to be a better partner so we can love each other the right way. We’ve been through ups and downs, adjustments, disagreements, we disappoint each other, we fight but at the end of the day, we still want to please God by forgiving each other, by understanding each others’ feelings. We tend to be selfish at times, we want to be understood and let the pride get in. But is it the way God wants us to be in a relationship? Of course not, pride is the biggest enemy. So ladies, lower our pride. Just eat fried chicken. Hehe!
Forty-seven months, almost four years. September 01, 2017.
Well, he knows how to reply, at least. HAHA (Minsan pumupuso nalang e! Pero di ako galit bes, pusuan mo man o hindi!)
Happy 3years and 11 months to my Baby. He’s not a social media person who post things all the time about the relationship, but I know and he has shown me how he loves me. I thank him for his patience and understanding. I thank him for he is waiting. Not every man will wait for this long. There are so many things I want to say but I will leave them on our BIG DAY!
I am engaged with this man who loves Jesus. Thank you for you are my answered prayer.
He goes straight to my bedroom and gives me hug. A tight hug.
“You smell so good.” He loves smelling me. I think it’s a new scent for him. He smelled his daddy and mommy and compare my smell from them. “You guys smell good but ate Princess’ smell is great” 😂
I don’t use any perfume. This little kid knows how to flatter my heart.
“Your skin is so soft, you’re so hugable and smellable?” Smellable? Is that word even exist?
And randomly he will say “I am so glad you’re here, ate Princess”
Awww. My heart ❤️😭
My little brother is 7years old now. Grabbing that moments where he’s in love with his sister. Hugs, playmates, kisses and laughters. One day, he will be grown up and wouldn’t want to hold his ate Princess hand in public.
I made him promise few weeks ago that even he will be taller than his ate, he will still hold my hand, hug me and kiss me. I recorded a video, a proof that he will still be that sweet to me few years from now. 😂
Morning hugs and sweetness.
Mommy and I laughed with some nonsense topic, jokes that only us could understand while sipping our coffee ☕️ in the morning.
I am loving this. I wish I have this every single day. I will be here for 2 months more. I don’t want to leave but I am thankful that I experience this kind of morning.
One day, my sister in Philippines, my brother in Aruba, me, my little brother and Mommy will sit down in the mornings while laughing, sipping our coffees, hugging each other. I am hopeful. God never fails.
Good life. Family time is always the best time ever. ❤️
Enjoy today! Rejoice for the Lord rejoices with you. Do not worry about others opinions. You are highly favored and so loved by the Highest. 6:41 am, Friday, June 9, 2017
I stood up and stayed on the balcony for a while. My tears suddenly fell and whispered, “Thank you, Jesus, for your love is amazing.” Looking from our hotel room, the view was nice. I got to see buildings, they’re huge and tall. The sound of a busy road, vehicles driving in the city. I liked it. And I loved the fact that even we had struggled, at some point in our lives we almost given up but God reminds us that He can make impossible things possible.
U.S.A Experience. Unexpected but planned by God. In every state or place, we went to, He was revealing something to me. I love how God spoke to me through these events:
Would you believe? I don’t really have the budget for a luxurious vacation or something. Never had I imagine to travel this year. I prayed for unexpected blessings but I didn’t plan to go out of the country because if I would only look at my finances, never in the world I could possibly fly anywhere.
But God is GOD! His works are astounding. I know in my heart that during those times I suffered from extreme sadness and depression, one day I would understand why things happened. There must be something from it. I was hopeful for God’s revelations. HE did it again! And here I come, Georgia.
Stayed in a very beautiful hotel, Hyatt Regency Atlanta. I together with our Pastor and leaders had experienced a quick fancy 1 night and 2 days in Hyatt. What a favor. It’s free for me. Here’s the secret: if you are an employee at any Hyatt Hotel, you’ll have a free stay for three days (as much as I know) in other countries. That’s one of their benefits. Isn’t it cool? I love that! It makes me want to work in Hyatt. Two among us work at Hyatt Aruba so we had two rooms checked-in.
God is good.
God has already planned it. He knew that I will be needing this vacation. And I am thankful. It was so great to see buildings, honestly. I’ve been living in Aruba for almost six years now, all I can see there are beaches and small establishments. It’s a small island so you won’t see huge buildings. Nevertheless, Aruba is a very beautiful island. But it is good to see something new, right?
I missed the kind of noise, wide and busy roads and view in the city sometimes. It was a big deal for me to have experienced this.
Unexpected but Planned. Planned by God. He provides.
Five Star Hotel stay isn’t for rich ones only. It’s also for God’s princess who cannot afford. God provides, always.
2017 Congregational Holiness Church General Conference
Few weeks before the flight, I had a call from my mom asking me if I want to come over and visit. Of course, I would love that. I did join the group first from our church, attended the conference for few days. The trip is not for a luxurious vacation, by the way, we were just blessed to have stayed in a gorgeous hotel for few days in Atlanta.
The next day, we were picked up from the hotel to go to Gainesville where we will stay for the next days. It’s like almost two hours drive.
We stayed in Union Grove Campground, Gainesville, Georgia. We have met pastors and church leaders from different states and countries. We are all under Congregation Holiness Church. It’s really a blessing to see their dedication to the Lord and to the ministry. They are doing great to share God to people and I am really blessed by their lives.
God has revealed a lot of things to me during this stay.
My heart was melted and I was really inspired by these people. I honestly cried at nights during our stay at the campsite. God has been speaking to me and this experience is one of the confirmations I am asking for.
They are not young anymore but their diligence and dedication inspired me so much. Regardless of their age, they are doing their best, going on the mission trips, serving the people, cook food for the delegates from different countries, driving from here to there to let us see some places. And.. wow! HOURS of driving. Not to mention all the countries and mission they went to just to spread the Gospel. It’s just WOW! How dedicated they are.
And I will repeat, they are not young anymore. I don’t know how they do that but I was really shocked. For them, it’s normal. but for me, It really touched my heart how these wonderful people of God exert efforts and strength for the ministry, for God. My point here is, they are very serious about their ministry and it encourages so much that I desire to be like them. I have all the strength, I can still walk fast and do things or heavy ones to support a ministry, but I sometimes get tired easily, discouraged easily. Look at them, they are awesome, giving their time, their lives to serve people and to serve God.
Wow! How and why do they do that? The answer. LOVE. They love God so much that God poured out His love towards them and leads them to love people. Loving God, loving people.
The conference was held in CHC, New Haven Church
Thoughts like “Lord, what am I doing in my life? Why am I not sharing your love to people? I have all the strength, I am not old yet. I can still do things, but I always have excuses” I am a worship leader at our church, I attend youth groups, Bible study and teach kids tambourine dance. But I feel like God is speaking to me to do more, I don’t know exactly (or maybe I know, I am just stubborn) I’ve been praying for God’s direction in my life. I am not asking for a luxurious life. I just want God’s will in my life because I know how it feels when I give joy to the Lord, it is my strength. We are created by Him and for HIM. God is asking more from us because HE has more for us.
The conference helped me so much to see and be reminded once again our purpose. Make Jesus known. Go and share Him. Their hearts impressed me so much. Like.. really! Regardless of their age, they enthusiastically served people and dedicated their lives to the ministry.
I admired one of the pastors I’ve met there, Rev. JD Sosebee. (the man in the picture wearing sunglasses! Cool!) He’s very cheerful and anointed. He drove from Houston to Georgia. 13 hours drive. Imagine that? wew! Quite a long drive huh. I do understand that it is normal for them to drive this long from state to state. I do understand that but I still admire him and others who diligently meeting up, fellowshipping with one another to glorify our King. I am simply amazed. Most of the time, we, the group from Aruba would be riding in his van. We laughed all the time. It was fun, indeed. And the sweetest thing I observed from him is from time to time, he calls his wife and shared what was happening in the conference, he talked about the people he met and say encouraging words. He still shares his thoughts and God’s revelations to her wife. And I melt. That was sweet. I would imagine myself and my future husband talking about God’s goodness and faithfulness every single day. Such an inspiration!
I also met Mrs. Cecilia from Africa. She’s sweet, we talked about God’s faithfulness in our lives and I also asked questions like how is it living in Africa, is it really difficult? I know that it is not as rich as America, she confirmed. But I admire her more when I asked her “If you are to choose, where do you want to live? Here in America or Africa?” Africa, where her family is, she answered. She is very humble and content. She’s happy serving God and her family in Africa. It’s all well to her knowing Jesus is their everything. We also laughed about things, how African could be really funny like “Emmanuela” (Anyone of you understand Emanuela’s humor? I do. Thinking about her now makes me wanna laugh. HAHA I love her!)
This event has become an eye-opener to me. They inspire me to do better and more for the Lord, what it really means to have a servant’s heart and to follow HIM wholeheartedly.
What saddened me is… There were few young people there. I looked around and I can count on a hand. Who would be the next to continue the ministry? Who would share Jesus with people? And that is a wake-up call for me. What am I doing in my life? I’ve been praying to God to show me what He wanted me to do. If this is His answer, I would love to have that courage to do His will. If I am called for a mission, I would love to be equipped and be knowledgeable so He can use me. I don’t know where to start, what to do but I have the desire. It’s up to me now to do something.
Unexpected but God already planned this. He wants me to see what joy it could bring to Him if we do share Him to people. He blessed us so he wants us to be a blessing as well.
“God must be really wanting me to know that there is joy in serving HIM. If I am looking for joy and peace in my life. Serve Him wholeheartedly.”
God never stopped proving me that I am a princess. From finances to wisdom, revelations, and realizations, he opened my eyes. He opens a door that no one can shut, he shut doors that no one can open. He does great things! And He truly speaks. I could loudly hear Him telling me how much he loves me and gives me the joy. And that JOY that I am looking and searching for can only be found in Him and in serving HIM.
A Christian life is never an easy journey. We will experience ups and downs, joy and pain most of the time hardships, trials not to break us but make us stronger. But this journey is very fulfilling and satisfying. I want to look forward on that day I will have the courage to do the things God wants me to do. I know I am called to greatness because He said so. I should stop thinking about all the negatives in me and in my life and begin to see how the Lord mold me and wanting me to be used in His Kingdom. It is a privilege to be called His daughter, His princess.
Unexpected events but they were already planned by my King, my Daddy in Heaven.
***I have so much more to share with you. I will stop here, will post more soon. Thank you for your time reading my post. I really do appreciate it. ‘Til next time.
Akala ko kaya ko na ulit mawala e. Akala ko magagawa ko uli. Nagawa ko naman noon, ilang buwan ako ng tiis. Masaya pakiramdam ko, mas naging maayos ang naging buhay ko. Hindi ako na-apektuhan ng mga nangyayari sa paligid.
Umalis ako dahil gusto ko hanapin ang sarili ko, mas magkaron pa ako ng panahon para mag-meditate at mahalin ang sarili ko. Higit sa lahat para magamit ko ang oras ko ng tama.
Kaso, ang bilis nagbago ng isip ko sa pagkakataong ito. Hindi ko napanindigan ang ginawa ko. Bumalik pa rin ako.
Reaksyon nila. “Whattt?!!!” “Adik ka talaga”
Naiintindihan ko naman e. Ang bilis ko nagdesisyon, ilang araw lang binawi ko na rin agad. Eng eng lang!
Pero sa pagkakataong ito, isa pang aral ang natutunan ko, self-control and discipline.
Kaya naman nag-decide na ako na magkakaroon na ako ng oras sa pagbisita sakanya.
Nag-activate ulit ako sa Facebook, Instagram at Twitter. Pero nakasign-out lang silang lahat. Para hindi ako silip ng silip.
Yun lang naman. Ang bilis naman kasi ng pahinga ko. Pero nasa puso ko pa rin mas damihan ang time sa pag-seek kay God at maging productive. Addiction din kasi ang social media na to! 😂😝
Titignan ko kung hanggang saan ako aabot. I just deactivated my Facebook account, I deleted Facebook, Instagram and Twitter applications sa phone ko. Hihinga muna ako at paminsan minsan hindi ako makahinga sa social media.
While I am writing on my journal, napa-isip ako. Kahit wala ako trabaho sa ngayon, gusto kong i-grab itong opportunity to be refreshed and be restored, and to make good use of my time in seeking the One.
Nakaka-distract ang social media. Para sa akin, kung hindi ko matutunan manage ang time ko at kung may problema pa ako sa heart ko, hindi ako dapat natatambay sa mga social media gaya ng Facebook and Instagram.
Ako lang ba ito? Para bang may need na magpost at magbrowse. Dahil nga naging public na ang diary natin sa panahon ngayon by posting ng kung anu-ano, anong ginagawa natin, nasaan tayo, sino kasama etc., lahat alam na. Kapag may talent pa like photography, singing, dancing or even writing atbp, Aba naman talagang kanya kanyang pakitang gilas dito. (Hindi ako against. Gawin natin ang nagpapasaya sa atin)
Sa totoo lang.. nakakapagod minsan. Napapatanong ako? Bakit ba? Bakit ko ba kelangan magpost? Haha. Bakit ba kelangan ilagay kung saan ang destinasyon pag nagtravel? (Di ko pa yan nagawa! Ako nahihiya e! Kasi feeling ko nakakasakit ako sa iba. Yung iba gusto rin magtravel pero hindi keri. Kaya hindi ako nagpopost ng "traveling to.. ✈️ " 😂) Okay lang magpost nyan, personal view ko lang na not to let others feel sad or down, I don't specifically post yung ganyan. (Baka one day gagawin ko din yan!) At bakit ba pag nakanood ng isang video clip e talagang susunod-sunurin mo na yun mga sumusunod pang videos na trending? Tawa tawa kasi kadalasan mga funny videos, may mga touching stories din na iiyak ka.
I am not gonna lie pero parang pakiramdam ko nakakabaliw lang e! Ginagawa akong baliw. 😂 Iyak, tawa, iyak tawa! Minsan magagalit kapa pag nakaka- asar naman. Ang daming emosyon. Ibang klase ang Facebook. May mga panahon talaga na nagdedeactivate ako to take my time and stay away sa ingay.
Bakit ba kelangan gawin iyon? Bakit ba nagiging "need" na ang pagupdate ng buhay natin publicly?
Kung noon journal and devotional book, Bible ang una ko hahawakan pagbukas ng mata ko sa umaga, ngayon ay phone na agad at pag naumpisahan na makita may mga notifications aba naman di mo na namalayan isa o mahigit ilang oras kana natambay doon.
Wala akong balak pagandahin ang mga salita ko dito or kung ano ang tamang way to write this. Gusto ko lang mailabas itong paikot ikot sa isip ko. Takbo kasi ng takbo. Kelangan ilabas ko na. Wala ng edit edit. Kaya sorry kung ito lang ang kaya kong isulat.
Nastress pa ako dyan. Waley ako 'paki' sa mga oras na ito kung tama ba o mali ang pag construct ko ng sentence o ang grammar ko. Isa pa yan sa didib-dibin ko. Haha. Nawiwindang na nga ako. Tulad mo, iba kasi ang pakiramdam pag naisulat mo na. O diba? 😉
Meron akong dalawang buwan para ayusin ang sarili ko, magreflect at ma-refreshed ng bonggang bonga. Pinagpala ako makarating sa U.S.A., makapagbakasyon ng bonggacious ulit. Pinagpapahinga ako ni Lord sa lahat ng struggles na napagdaanan ko. Sabi nga ng friend ko, "Bumabawi sayo si Lord"
Parang sinasabi ni Lord sakin ngayon: "Take your time. WordPress is enough. (yun talaga e no? 😂) Magpahinga ka sa kaguluhan at ingay ng mundo. I have been revealing myself and my word to you pero pag napasok na ang Facebook sa life mo or IG , nawawala ka na e. Hinay hinay lang, bes. Focus focus din. (Feeling ko ganyan ako kausapin ni Lord 😝)
God has been very patient with me. Dami kong "No" sakanya kapag may pinapagawa sya sakin. Pero patuloy pa rin nya ako kinakatok. Ang tigas kasi ng ulo.
So dahil dyan, magiging mas active ako sa WordPress ngayon. Dito naman ako hihinga.
"Mommy, I got my permit," I told her with so much joy.
"Oh wow! Congrats anak (Anak is a Tagalog word means child)"
"You know, I was checking flights, do you want to come over here?" She added.
For a moment, I was silent. Thoughts were immediately running through my head. "Really? Omg! I would love to." excitedly I answered.
The month of June was an overwhelming month for me. There are so many things to be thankful for. I got my permit by May which is important so I can stay legally in the beautiful island of Aruba. God is so good for He never failed me. It also means, I can have a vacation outside the island and can freely come back. He opened an opportunity for me to visit U.S.A. again.
Princess is my name and with this good news, I really feel I am a princess. I love to share stories like this to inspire others. In human thoughts, it is impossible but with God, it is possible. Why is this big deal to me? I am not the kind of person who can afford to travel. I prayed for it. Yes, that's one thing I can boast about. God simply answered my prayer and what is amazing about it, he gave me more than I expected. God's favors are overwhelming. His love is so amazing. I am really God's princess and I am proud of it.
Few months before this, I had some depression season in my life. I wrote An Open Letter to Myself and decided to get up again. It wasn't easy for me but the Lord has been so gracious and once again helped me to see what really important in life is. It is not about having a good career which I do pray for this a lot. I could say without hesitation that my career now isn't really going well. Who would love to admit that? But even I do not have a stable job, God never ceased to provide. He reminded me that money isn't everything we need. It is Him who is everything we need. Who would have thought that someone like me would see the beauty of America? And here's another thing, if I have a regular job right now, I wouldn't be able to visit my mom and stay here for few months. Everything happens for a reason. I couldn't understand that at first but the Lord answered my question on why I wasn't able to find a regular job yet? "Be patient" and "Be still" are His words to me. He knows what He is doing and He is not against me. HE is for me and he loves me. That is for sure.
I never complain about money, I grew up learning how to be content. I experienced having nothing so the Lord taught me to be grateful when I have something. God has a specific purpose why I experienced that season in my life. Now, he is just proving His love and I am appreciating Him more. It is not because of great blessings I received but thankful because in every season He never leaves me. He's always there and will always be.
"Some of the leaders from our church (Church of Zion Aruba) will attend a conference in Georgia for few days and it would be a good idea to join them," I told mommy.
I did attend the Congregational Holiness Church General Conference 2017 before I went to Mommy's place. The conference was held in Georgia. It was truly the 'times of refreshing' for me and for the rest of the group. God knows that I needed this break and He filled my heart with joy and inspiration. It's a blessing to be here. It is not just for fun but I know for sure that this vacation isn't about pleasure only but a moment where He can reveal Himself to me in a very intimate way. Truly there is a time for everything. My cry time was over it is time to laugh and rejoice.
A Time for Everything
3 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:
2 a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, 3 a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, 4 a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, 5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, 6 a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, 7 a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, 8 a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.
Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8
I will be writing about what I have learned and realizations from the conference on my next post. I will also post some photos of places, states we went to. There will be more. I am excited to post and share with you about God's surprises to me.
I am still in the U.S.A. right now. There are so many things I want to share with you all guys!
Thank you for taking time reading my post. Blessings!
It’s been a while, I know. I haven’t been writing on my blog these past few months. Well, who would notice, anyway? My last post was about getting myself back on track. I wrote an open letter for Princess, myself. It’s kind of connected with this post.
“Why Me?” “Why are you sending me here?” Why am I even here?” Living in Aruba for quite some years, the Lord might be tired of hearing me asking these questions to HIm? As if they weren’t answered. I can tell that God reveals His answers but sometimes I am just busy thinking about the situation without even realizing He’s been answering all this time. If only I take my time listening and hearing His voice instead of complaining and murmuring about the circumstances.
“Why Me?” I heard this again today from the missionaries we’ve met in the ship called LOGOS HOPE. It is a non-profit organization, international ship which brings knowledge and hope through literature. They sell books and at the same time ministering to people by their kindness and care to the people coming in the ship. You won’t only be happy by all the books in the library but also by their genuine and pure hearts that inspires me to keep believing and seeking God. Their passion in sharing hope and love of God is very exhilarating.
I’ve heard about it a long time ago but I didn’t have a chance to visit the ship. It visited Philippines, I believe. But I wasn’t able to go. Logos Hope was here in Aruba 7 years ago and I wasn’t here yet that time. Last April 21 up to today, May 7 they’re here in the island. And I am really blessed to have experienced the uplifting ambiance and admiring hospitality of the crew members. I needed this for all the seeking and healing process I’m going through. God just really know how to comfort me. Just in time, never early and never been late. Perfect timing.
I went in the ship like five or six times since they arrived in Aruba. I bought some books and they are not expensive. Thank God! The first day I went, I was really really let me repeat again.. REALLY in awe. Looking around, observing every single crew in there doing their task for this ministry melt my heart once again. They are not paid. They are volunteers who gave their time and efforts, their lives for the Lord, following their calling in their lives and doing the will of God – sharing the good news. There are 400 or more crew members in the ship. Different nationalities and culture. They are meeting the world in the ship, actually. Isn’t it fascinating how God unite these people together with different languages and yet they have the common understanding that makes them united. JESUS. The love of God for them and for the people.
I think it is one of the bravest thing to do in one’s life. Leaving your family, love ones and your career behind for the sake of following Christ. Some of them are professionals but they left their good jobs because they are called to seek the One and be the light to the World. They don’t think about the position but they have the hearts for service. A heart of a servant. They are doing what God’s will is. – to go and share the Gospel. These people are doing the right thing. Selflessly obeying God in their lives. Who wouldn’t melt their hearts towards these people?
“Why Me?” There will be times they will ask God why they are sent there. They are humans too. They feel sadness and loneliness as well. Homesickness will be very overwhelming for sure. But they are holding to God’s promises. They still find peace and joy. The more they feel it the more they run to the Lord which makes them more closer to Him. God’s revelations and wisdom are very active to their lives because all they do is to seek God in their lives while staying in the ship. They have personal and group devotions, worship times, lessons, Bible studies and discipleship lessons. And I love all these things.
One of the crew members is having a hard time ( I think everyone over there experience this) she was tired and sad, she went to the prayer room,grab her guitar, cried out and ask God, “Why Me?” She can’t speak English so well, She just started learning for nine months now. One of the requirements if you want to participate with them is you can at least understand and speak English at a reasonable level. God still sends her there, anyway. For the reasons? I don’t know why. I’m sure that this is her training ground for more greater things in her life. And after days of crying to God, HE sent someone for her to be her teacher in English. They are now like sisters, caring for each other, building each other up. And yeah.. she is doing great because she can actually converse with other person now. When God calls you, HE will enable you.
Listening to their stories makes me ask a different question this time. “Why not me?” I admire them so much. Their courage and for being brave are inspiring. The third time I was in the ship, we attended a prayer event called “Pray for the Nation” we prayed for some unreachable countries like North Korea, Venezuela and more to open doors of opportunities to share the good news. We also prayed for what the world is going through like poverty, addiction, slavery, human trafficking etc. that people would know that there is hope in life. JESUS is the answer. He is the only one who can heal us within. And after the event, we got home and all. I was about to sleep, turned off my lights, but my heart is still overwhelmed. I prayed and I cried so hard like a baby on my bed. I needed this. I needed that moment. I missed that time where my heart’s only desire is to obey Him , to seek Him and to love Him. I was like a baby crying and telling him everything I feel. I felt so bad for not doing anything for His kingdom, I felt so sorry for not loving the lost anymore, I sobbed for I know God is calling me to do His will but I am to stubborn. I only look on my ugly situation, I only care about myself. While others are suffering and dying from starving, from the abuse of the evil, children are being forced to work for some countries, little ones who can’t see the beauty of life because they are abused, people who are broken and don’t see their worth so they end up hurting themselves, found their happiness in the wrong ones like pornography, smoking and alcohol and drug addiction, shopping and everything they think will complete them. They are lost. And what am I doing? I live in fear, no confidence to speak about the truth, keeping to myself. Am I being selfish? I know the goodness of God. But I wasn’t on my self these years, I cried all the time to seek and know what was this thing that He wanted me to do. There is something inside of me that I know He wants me to share , to get out on my shell and see the world and do something..
“Why Not Me?” I want to be part of this ministry. Who wouldn’t like? But is this something God wants or just me? I prayed and told Him wherever I go, I want to be a channel of His blessings. I will speak what He says, I will go where He goes. At the end of my prayer “I want to be with you” I want to know you more” ” I want to do your will” It doesn’t need to be in Logos Hope. All I want is to be with you. I was lost and weak because I didn’t want to follow Him, I lost my motivation because I only look at myself. But these days since I came to that amazing ship, God has been talking to me, God has been shaking me and getting me back on track. He’s revealing me His words and promises to me “Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalms 37:4
I believe that everyone is called for a specific task in this life. It’s just a matter of obedience. If it’s God”s will for me to be in the ship one day, it’ll happen and he will give me confirmation through His word, prayers, from the people around me. Just like one of the staff in the ship told us. For the meantime, while living in Aruba with a different culture and language, I have to know and seek my purpose here. I am sure that I am not only here for work. He’s been telling me to do something but I still didn’t. I pray and you can also pray for/with me that the Lord will give me the courage to do His will in this island.
I can say that the island is so beautiful. Life in here is easy and relaxing. Some Filipinos call this place as milk and honey place where abundance is present everywhere. I am thankful and grateful for that but life isn’t all about it. Aruba is called One Happy Island. Like what I have said I am grateful for the opportunity to be able to enjoy the beauty of God’s creation. But for me, this is also called “Temptation Island” where everybody is busy making money, making life very comfortable, relaxing, bars everywhere, prostitution in a certain place which is legal here. It is very comfortable that not everyone is willing to take time to gather for the name of the Lord. I honestly got used of being relaxed. But in my heart I know that this isn’t life for me. I want to see people , Christians who are willing to give their time for the work of the Lord, who can really take time teaching people about the knowledge of God, who worship God in Spirit &truth not a performance, I want to see a generation in this island who seek God and knows God’s holiness. IF I want to see it, I must begin to be one.
“Why me?” shouldn’t be ask this time. Should I ask “Why not me?” If God can use those missionaries in the ship mightily because they are willing and made themselves available? Why not me?” It doesn’t have to be in the ship. If God calls you, he will enable you. It would be great if one day I can participate with them but now my mission field is in Aruba. A revelation that God has been telling me that didn’t get in to me until Logos Hope arrived. Thank you so much for this ministry. You guys are amazing Logos Hope!! 🙂
Life on earth is ephemeral. Do what makes you happy!