Realizations on turning 29ish

Kids want to get old and old people wanted to be kids again. The same feeling as others who turned at this age, I had that moment of truth as well. Like “Wait, really? What happened?” This is also a moment where you evaluate your life and will have a deep realizations. Let me share my thoughts on turning 29ish.

  1. LIFE IS SHORT, Be Content.

We usually hear this when a person dies, but this time no one dies. I just become more aware of my age. If we only know when will we die, I am sure all of us will live everyday as if it is your last. But reality check, we do not know when. But we all know that our life here on earth is short to be negative all the time. Why not spend your years meaningful and happy? How?

Contentment is one of the answers. Life is not a competition. We are all given a life to enjoy. Just because some are rich you should hate yourself being poor and choose to pity yourself.  Just because you are in Philippines and most of your friends work abroad doesn’t mean you are not successful. Also, just because they work abroad doesn’t mean they don’t experience struggles and hardships. We all do, wherever we are, whatever we do, we all undergo in the process of learning and enjoying life. Admit it or not, we have and/or had depressions and anxiety attacks at times. You started to look down on yourself and believe the thinking that you are nothing because you also starting to compare yourself to others.

We always want more. I remember someone who once said “If I will only have that phone, I will end up there and will not ask for more” he got that phone, but guess what every year he wants to change his phone. High technology, trending, everyone has it and ending up “I want that too”. If cellphone is only a way of communication and if it still works, why should I buy a new and expensive one? It is okay to upgrade or buy whenever and whatever you want. Its not a problem as long as you can afford and know your priorities. My point is, in our lives we never be content if we will freely let ourselves flow how the world goes. You get frustrated when you can’t have what you want, the luxurious life that everyone wants, and start to be feel jealous and compare self to others. Be content. If they are rich, let them be rich. If you think you are poor, you are wrong. God has given us everything we need. You just have to know the difference between NEEDS and WANTS.

Hebrews 13:5(ESV)

Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

1 Timothy 6:6-11 (ESV)

But godliness with contentment is great gain, for we brought nothing into the world, and[a] we cannot take anything out of the world. But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content. But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. 10 For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs.

When I was younger, I used to be like someone who wants more. I want this and that. I had deep thoughts of being rich. Big own house, car and beautiful branded clothes. I spent time thinking and wishing my life to be like that, perfect as others look at it. And when I came back to reality, I started to get mad at my parents. “If only they are rich” But as time goes by, as I learned from life and see what truly the real treasure is and through God’s word, the light unto our path, I changed. My perspective in life changes. That “if only they/I am rich” turns to “If only I am content”. If only from the very start, I am content, I would be happier and appreciate the beauty of life. It is okay. It’s not to late. God wants us to be content. I do not want to spend my life on earth comparing my life to others. I want and choose to be content. Thank God for his correction and learning.

 2. Love Yourself.

This is a broad topic to discuss. I do not want to be misunderstood when I say “Love and Be yourself” God loves everyone of us and he accepts us for who we are. I will only talk about a situation where self pity and low self esteem  overwhelm me.

Many of us dwell on the thoughts “I am not good enough” “I am not capable” “I can’t achieve great things” “I am miserable” “I can’t achieve my dreams””I will be forever like this” Regardless of age, we tend to dwell on negative thoughts. “Buti pa sila” “Buti ka pa” Those words and thoughts unconsciously destroying your character and personality. You forget who you are because you are filled with others attainments and start to even look on their flaws as well to make yourself believe either you are better than them, or you think you are wretchedly unhappy.  Both results are not good If you don’t know how to balance, you will become insecure and ending up comparing yourself to others and hatred starting to fill your heart to the people too. You think they’ve got them all good together in their lives and you don’t. Sadly you become hard on yourself unknowingly. You become jealous about other’s possessions and achievements instead of focusing on your abilities and accomplishments.

Social media is something we can have an access on others’ lives and you started to think that they are more blessed or fortunate than you are. It is normal that we sometimes feel jealous, everybody feels that, admit it or not. But it always good that you will have a good check in your heart from time to time. If you want to have a peaceful life. Star to love yourself and see the good things in your heart. I personally admire people who are happy to others success. They are very few. Do not be somebody else. Be yourself. Love yourself.

There will always be someone who is better than you, prettier or more handsome than you, smarter than you, richer than you but there is only one YOU. You are unique. When I realized that I really wanted to write, a dream held in my heart for a long time. I doubted it first because I focused on others’ works. They are so good and I am not. I admit I still have to learn things. But one thing I have learned, I won’t achieve any goals in my life if I won’t step on it. JUST DO IT. I do not write because everyone has the ability to write (for bloggers and writers), I write because I love to. I need this to make me feel happy and fulfilled. They are better than me yes, I know. I admire them but instead of focusing on those ‘more than you’, look into your heart, START appreciating your own self and you will be amazed how God becomes gracious in bestowing blessings and favors, abilities, skills, talents and gifts upon you. I can’t say that I am able to write good but by doing this, I am loving myself. It helps me to express myself. So whether people won’t like what I am writing or saying here, I will still do it because I love doing this. 🙂 I am God’s masterpiece. You are God’s masterpiece. It means you are His great art of work.

Ephesians 2:10 New Living Translations (NLT)

10 For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.

3. Nobody to Somebody 

 

I am 30 and during my younger years, negative thoughts like these empower me. It does happen to me still at times. I don’t like it. I do not want my heart be consumed with dirty things such us hatred, greed, anger, jealousy, frustrations, depressions and all. Everyone does not like them, of course. I do not want to live like that, so seeking the ONE who created us is the best way to know what is good and what is not, to have a knowledge between right and wrong. I am so thankful that the life God has given us everyday is a chance and challenge for ourselves to be better. To live a life with a purpose. You learn along the way, your journey of being Nobody to Somebody is not an easy journey yet it is fulfilling. I used to believe that I am just nobody and won’t be able to achieve great things.

Yes, if I have to compare my life to my college friends and batch mates, and define success as possessions and career growth, I would say I am nobody. In my previous posts, you would read how was my life  in 4 years living in Aruba. Click A part of my Story if you want to know. 🙂  But I would say I am Somebody now. I am not boasting about my life, honestly, I have nothing to boast about. At this age, I do not have a job everyone dreams, I don’t have a house or a car, I don’t have expensive clothes, I do not have gadgets that everyone wants. I don’t have money to eat to some fine dining restaurants, name them, I have nothing to boast but.. let me tell you, I have a job, not a good position but I have at least I have a job. I do not have my own house but I have people who treat me like their own family, besides from my father’s place, I still find home by those people who are nice to me. Gadgets? To tell you honestly, I didn’t spend a lot of money for my phone, laptop and ipad. They are almost free. Freely given to me. Restaurants, I can eat sushi which we all know are expensive. I ate at fine dining restaurants because of lovely people who invite me at times, again it’s free.

This how I call favor from the Lord. I don’t demand for things, God is showering His blessings to me. I am so blessed. Really. I don’t mind if other people look down on me. I am not explaining myself for the ones who think I have all together. I also experience things here huh! You just have to be content, love yourself and to be somebody. Somebody means, knowing your identity in Christ. When negative of this world strike you, remember who you are in Christ. You are accepted. A new creation, blessed, cherished, designed by God, favored, forgiven, saved, unique, you are loved and you are victorious. The Lord sees us so wonderful, you gotta believe you are. From that person whom I think Nobody, I have learned to embrace the love of God to be this Somebody, knowing my worth.

4. I am Egg! HAHA

Just like an egg mixed to other ingredients to bake a cake. I am like an egg, I used to like to be isolated, I cover myself with my shell. I don’t like to see the world for not being open minded and just believe what I want to believe. I do not want to open myself to anyone. I am okay being inside, comfortable. But I had to let someone break my shell for me to be useful and to live longer I guess (mabubugok ako e!). Breaking the shell could be painful for me, adjustments will happen because I’ve been living inside my shell for a long time. Time comes that I need to be put in a bowl and mixed with other ingredients. I am an egg, that is my purpose of living so I let myself mixed to others. In mixing process I need to blend in for the baker can create a perfect cake. Mixed and put in a pan. When ready, put in an oven to bake, you cannot make a cake if you won’t put the mixture in an oven. Inside the oven, the temperature would be so hot  but it is needed for a cake to be baked. As soon as you are ready, the sweet delicious aroma will spread the whole area. Just like when you pass a bakery, you smell the delicious cakes and breads. whooo 🙂 Dushi! And you are ready to be eaten.

I let God break me and release me from my shell. Shellfishness. Haha Selfishness. It is not always about myself, being comfortable, and not to see others needs.I have to give myself to be used and be useful. It does not give you satisfaction when you are alone inside your shell. You are made for something else that is why you are longing for that purpose for you to feel the satisfaction. He needed to break me so I can give myself away. When I say, “Okay, Lord have your way” I let the Baker do as he wish. It was not easy, it’s uncomfortable. “What? why do I have to mix myself to others? Why do I have to blend in? I can be alone.” “I don’t care about them. I will live my life on my own. Yeah. “self” where we can only think about ourselves all the time, what we want, what we feel, what makes us comfortable without desiring to see others needs or situations. That is the moment I go to see different and difficult people around me but still I have to accept them for who they are and blend in because they are also God’s creation with different function in the world just like me. I am not saying that you have to please everyone. The point is, God shows me that I am loved and little by little he also teach me how to love. I am not saying also that I love someone perfectly. Only God can do that. But Jesus inspires us to love others. Well in fact, the greatest commandments God gave us:

Matthew 22:36-40

36 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’[a] 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’

Loving yourself makes you love others. Loving others is loving God.

Fruits of the Spirit

The mixing process produces you with these characters that God wants us to learn. I am not saying I have them at all times. I am human. I am not perfect, I am so perfectly imperfect but I have a perfect God who loves me just the way I am and teach me how to live a life meaningful. His word is a guide for me to be in a right path. Sometimes I am in doubt to write things about this, I don’t want to let people feel uncomfortable by making them feel “I have the perfect life.” Of course not, again, I am not gonna boast about myself but I can boast about the ONE who helps me becoming like this. I still have things to learn, I know. Just like the saying “Experience is the best teacher and the worst experiences are the best lessons” In life, learning is unending cycle. Live to learn.

When the mixture is ready, I have to be put in the oven. Those are the times when you want to get out from it because it is painful, you feel like you can’t endure the temperature anymore. This stage could be the painful experiences in your life, dealing with difficult people, facing different tragedies in life, financial problems, broken hearts, broken lives etc., you feel like there will be no escape. There is a time for everything. Even the baker wants to get you from the oven, he still has to see if you are ready. I have to wait for the right time until I am really ready. Sometimes you really have to endure it the long time, but guess what? When you wait, the result will always be great. There is a blessing in waiting and obedience. When the Baker takes the cake out from the hot oven, he knows that you are ready. The aroma will spread out the place. You will see the smile from the Baker and from the people around you wanting you to be part of their lives. The praise will always goes to my Baker for making a good cake or bread. You are becoming a blessing. You make them happy. It is so fulfilling to see you are blessed to be a blessing.

Final Words

Life is short. We should learn how to be content and enjoy life. I will say it again, stop comparing yourself to others. While living on earth, do not waste your time on comparing yourself to others instead appreciate yourself. We are unique in our own way. Find things that make you happy. If you have a desire and dream deep down your heart and you still didn’t act with it, just do it. We are all learning. If you fail, its okay but never stop learning. Just like what I am doing, if writing makes me happy, even there are people that is better than me, I will keep doing this, I guess. HAHA. because I am becoming proud of myself for I used to have a low self esteem yet I am sharing my deepest thoughts now which help me seeing my worth. When you learn lessons from life, choose to be a blessing. There’s someone out there needs your story to be refreshed, encouraged and be reminded again. Share yours! Be a blessing!

If you are still reading this, thank you so much for your time. These are some of my great lessons in my 29ish living in this world. I still want and have to learn a lot of things. And may this be an encouragement to you. I would love to hear from you by writing on comment box. Yey! God bless you 🙂

-Princess

 

 

 

 

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