I am not Alone- Cover

I admit, I really love singing and most of the time, well always, I worship. I feel home when I start to pour out my heart to Him and worship. I know that there I belong… in His presence

God is my strength and in every season He never leave me nor forsake me. My response to His faithfulness is to thank Him and worship for who He is. He deserves all the praises and adoration.

You are welcome to join me in worshiping Him through listening and if you know it, sing this with me. 🙂

Thank you and God bless you!

-Princess

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Pag sumama ka sa aking biyahe, iaalay ko ang puso ko!

Weh? Di nga?

Ngayon araw na ito, naalala ko nung bata bata pa ako na sobra akong naloka sa ‘Meteor Garden’. Talaga naman in love na inlove ako nun. At dahil dyan… nasa mood ako today kantahin yun tagalog version ng theme song nila. “Biyahe”

Pero ito ay short clip lang, chorus lang ang bagay na kantahin dahil for male singer ito. Ganun pa man, if nasa mood ka naman pakinggan, ma-aapreciate ko ang pakikinig mo. Maraming salamat 🙂

Tara sakay na, biyahe na tayo. HAHA

Biyahe Cover

Princess

Bakit ba ako nandito?

Sinusubukan kong tapusin ang mga write ups ko na na-tengga na sa Drafts. Isa to inumpisahan ko. Ako ay napangiti nang nakita kong pamagat lang pala ang naisulat ko dito. LOL. Bakit nga ba ako nandito?

Sa apat na taon ko dito, patunay lang na hindi pa rin klaro sa akin ang dahilan kung bakit ako nandito. Nakita ko naman ang mga pagbabago sa buhay ko. Ang ilan dito ay maganda pero hindi rin makakaila na meron or mas marami ata yung hindi maganda. I do not want to sound complaining about my life. But if I will be honest with you, mas marami ata ang masakit na nangyari dito.

OFW. Di ko naman siguro kelangan pa isa isahin ang hirap ng isang OFW. Talaga naman kasing para tayong lage nasa battle, laban ng laban. Hangga’t kaya, sige lang. Pero dumarating talaga yun mga oras na hindi mo mapigilan hindi maging malungkot at alalahanin mga naiwan mo sa Pinas.

Dinadaan nalang yan sa tawa at sa panonood ng Koreanovela. Aba mahilig naman kasi talaga ako dyan. Bukod sa ang popogi nila at makikinis, talaga naman maganda ang stories ng mga Korean series lalo na pagdating sa pag-ibig. Ang pure kasi. Kaya marami ang nawiwili dito dahil lahat naghahangad ng fairy-tale love story. LOL 🙂

So Bakit ba ako nandito? :

  1. Dahil kay Papa

Lahat ng mga OFW ang major reason nila ay ang makatulong sa family financially. Syempre yun din dahilan ko, di ako gaya-gaya HAHA pero alam naman natin na ang hirap talaga ng buhay sa Pinas, diba?

Pero isa sa mbigat na dahilan ko kaya ako nandito ay dahil gusto ko makasama si Papa. Bata palang ako OFW na ang parents ko. Broken family din ako dahil din dyan. Hindi ko naman sila masisi pero isa akong product ng broken family. Kung maganda siguro ang buhay namin noon, hindi na kailangan mang-ibambansa ang Mommy. Oo, sya ang unang umalis. 6years old ako noon. Sad truth, hindi ko talaga na experience yung Mommy-daughter moment. Kasi naririnig ko lang sya sa voice tape pa noon. Nararamdaman lang sya sa mga packages, yung pakiramdam na binabalot nya yung mga padala nya sa amin. Di pa uso skype noon and hindi pa techy mga tao. So, buwan ang hihintayin bago mabasa mga sulat namin.

Mahirap ba yun? Aba syempre hindi… hindi ko makaka-ila. Mahirap at masakit. Sa picture mo lang sya napagmamasdan. Kinailangan rin umalis ng Papa, that time ako ay nasa High School na. Third year HS ata ako noon. Pero dahil nga nagkakalabuan na rin sila Papa noon, umalis din si Papa pero ibang bansa din. At dito na nga yun sa Aruba.

Marami na ang nangyari pero gusto ko din linawin na wala akong galit sa mga magulang ko. Tanggap ko na at mahal ko sila kahit ano pa man ang mga naging desisyon nila sa buhay. Bilang isang anak, ayaw ko isumbat sa kanila ang mga naging pagkakamali din namin dahil wala sila sa tabi namin upang gabayan kami. Dahil naniniwala ako na ang lahat ng pangyayari sa buhay natin ay may dahilan.

Ang haba na nito no? Andyan ka pa ba? So to make it short, I wanted to feel having parents beside you. Kasi matagal tagal namin di naramdaman yun. Maniniwala kaba kung ang tanging dasal ko lang noon bata bata pa ako ay ang magkaroon ng ‘family picture’? Simple lang siya pero malalim, mahirap makamit. 🙂

Sa kagustuhan ko mapalapit sa magulang ko dahil sa paniniwala na magiging kumpleto ako pag maramdaman ko na kasama ko sila, nagdecide ako na magtrabaho na din abroad. At alam mo ba na hindi naging madali sa akin iwan ang comfort zone ko? Dun ako nagkamuwang, nagkaroon ng kaibigan, nagmahal at minahal at nagkatrabaho na akala ko hindi pa enough.

Dahil kay Papa kaya ako nandito. I want to be closer to him. Pero alam mo ba na malungkot ako? Hindi ko kasi alam if na-aapreciate nya yun. Hindi ko alam if ramdam nya na mahal ko sya. Hindi ko alam if proud ba sya sa akin. Siguro one day, malalaman nya din na kahit ganito ako ngayon. Nasa bahay lang ako ngayon isang buwan na, jobless. HAHA balang araw magiging proud din sya sakin.

So, may isa pa akong prayer. Si mommy naman. Bago man lang ako magsettle down (naks! ikakasal na ang bata), maranasan ko naman ang Mommy-daughter bonding. Sapat na siguro ang kay Papa, though alam kong kulang pa. Pero I know Papa loves me at mga kapatid ko, lahat ginagawa nya para sa amin. Alam ko na kahit hindi man sya showy, mahal na mahal nya pa rin kami.

2. Para sa kanya

Maarte.’para sakanya pa’ nalalaman. HAHA. Nakilala ko dito ang mapapangasawa ko. So, kaya ako nandito ay para makilala ko sya. O diba? Ang magbabago ng takbo ng buhay ko at apelyido ko. Boom! Wait… wag nalang makasiguro baka pagdating sa dulo hindi rin pala matuloy at sasama na rin ako sa mga organisasyon ng mga single na sumisigaw ng “Walang Forever”

3. God alone

All for God’s glory. Nandito ako para patunayan na kahit na anong hirap ng buhay hindi pa rin magbabago ang katotohanang ang Diyos at tapat kailanpaman. Mahirap maging katulong kahit na tapos ako ng pag-aaral. Pero dahil nga kelangan ko mag-comply sa rules nila dito, tiniis ko. Sa mga panahon na iniiyak ko ito sa Kanya, isa lang napatunayan ko. Never ako iniwan ng Diyos. Sa bawat patak ng luha at pagtawa ko Sya lang ang nagiisang may alam ng tunay na laman ng aking puso. Sige seryoso na to. HAHA Basta ang sinasabi ko langh. Bakit ko nakakya lahat? Kasi andyan si Lord.

Kung binabasa mo pa din ito, salamat po. Naapreciate ko po ng sobra. God bless you!

-Princess in Aruba

Remind yourself: He wants to be with you

God is not mad at you.

Whenever we made mistakes or wrong decision, it is difficult for us to run towards Him, and we started to have negative thoughts, we run away instead. We begin to think that we are not deserving of His love and guilt overpowers us . The tendency, we enjoy living in sin. Because of our belief that HE is mad at us, we fall into the trap of unbelieving mind and heart. I do not want to say things to make an impression that I know everything. Of course not. I am still in the process and learning more about the truth and knowledge about God. But what I know is, God is real. His faithfulness and goodness and love were proven from the beginning up to today. But, we sometimes overlook that the enemy is also real. He will do everything to bring us down.

To be honest, I am so careful on what I am going to write about this. I may not be a scholar in Bible school or a theologian but what I have learned from Him that keeps me going is to always remind myself my identity in Christ and who He is. Whenever I sin against him and hurt him by the wrong decisions or giving way to enemy to destroy my being, I run to His promises. He is always faithful to forgive my sins.

Believe that God is not against you. He is for you. He wants to be with you.

Romans 8:31-39New Living Translation (NLT)

Nothing Can Separate Us from God’s Love

31 What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us? 32 Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t he also give us everything else?33 Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for his own? No one—for God himself has given us right standing with himself. 34 Who then will condemn us? No one—for Christ Jesus died for us and was raised to life for us, and he is sitting in the place of honor at God’s right hand, pleading for us.

35 Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? 36 (As the Scriptures say, “For your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep.”[a]) 37 No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.

38 And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[b] neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. 39 No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Do not hesitate to come to your Father. He is always ready to accept you and listen to you. NO matter what you do, He will never stop loving you. Be happy!

I declare joy, peace and love be upon you today! God bless you.

Dahil sa kanya pakiramdam ko pangit ako!

Minsan nagkukwentuhan kami ng kapatid ko at mga pinsan, bigla namin napagusapan ang High School life sa Pinas. At may naalala ako bigla, isa rin yun sa dahilan kung bakit pakiramdam ko sa sarili ko noon ay pangit ako.

Kapag Intrams Day or Intramural, may mga iba’t ibang pakulo ang mga students to add some fun and fund raising na rin para sa iba’t ibang organization na kinabibilangan nila. Habang ang mga laro ay nagpapatuloy, may mga ginawa rin sila iba’t ibang booth tulad ng “Marriage Booth” na kung saan kunwari may ikakasal, may magrerequest na kukunin nila ang taong ito para ikasal kay ganito. Meron din naman yung blind date na same procedure pero nakapiring kayo, pwedeng pagtitripan lang kayo ng tropa or nirequest talaga ng isa sa kanila para makasama nya ang crush nya. Atbp.

Hindi ko matandaan kung paano kami naging partner ng isang lalakeng yun na hanggang ngayon hindi ko makalimutan ang ginawa nya. Hindi ko rin matandaan kung sino ang nagpakulo noon. Basta ang natatandaan ko… ganito yun.

Naka-piring kami dinala sa isang room (adnun din ang ibang students), magme-meet kayo dun at paghahawakin ang mga kamay nyo. Ako naman, hindi naman ako masamang tao, kung sino man may kagagawan nun naki-ride on lang naman ako at hindi ko din ipapahiya kung sino man sya. So, hawak kamay… naramdaman ko nalang na bumitaw sya sa kamay ko ng pagalit or para bang may tinapon na gamit na ayaw nya.

Nauna sya nagtanggal ng takip sa mata nya. At yun ang una nyang action na para bang nandiri sya sa akin. I felt so embarrassed. Una, wala naman akong planong something romantic sakanya. It’s part of the kalokohan ng mga students. Naki-ride on lang ako. To be honest, hindi ko matandaan kung crush ko ba sya noon or what, kung may ganun naman, dapat ba na ganun ang maging reaction mo sa babae? Pangalawa, hindi sya pogi I realized. HAHA Sorry.

Kahit sino pa man yan kahawak kamay mo hindi mo dapat ginaganun ang isang babae. Ayaw mo man dyan o gusto, hindi ganun ang dapat na pagtrato. Ngayon ko lang naisip na magsalita, dati kasi tahimik lang ako, hindi ako lumalaban. Pero kung meron lang akong tapang noon, siguro kinausap ko sya about this.

Dahil sa mga ala-ala noon, I searched him on Facebook at nakita ko sya. Hindi nalang ako magmention ng name. Pero kelangan ko na rin sya patawarin, tanda ko na o! Haha 🙂 Bata pa kami noon. Pero grabe, isa yun sa dahilan kung bakit mababa ang self esteem ko dahil napaniwala ako ng mga negative thoughts na hindi ako attractive or maganda. Yung tipong hindi ka kelan man magustuhan ng mga lalake. But it was lie. Lahat tayo ay maganda at pogi in God’s eyes. And sa mga previous posts ko, I really emphasize beauty within hindi sa panlabas lamang na kaanyuan. God looks into our hearts at mas magandang pagandahin higit sa lahat ang puso natin.  Kung ganun man ang tingin nya sa akin, pangit,  ayos lang din kasi natuto ako na mahalin ang sarili ko at tanggapin ang pangit at embrace ang mga magagandang traits na meron ako.

Move on na ako? HAHA Naikwento ko na e. Pero isa yun sa mga nakakahiyang sitwasyon nung High School ako. Bitter ba? Hindi na.. kasi hindi na ganun ang tingin ko sa sarili ko. God made me believe that I am unique and precious in His eyes. He loves me as who I am and bonus, I found people who accepts me for who I am.

Ngayon,may malaking bonus pa ako, taong nagpatibok ng puso ko.. Haha 🙂 Yung kahit sa tingin ko pangit ako para sakanya maganda ako. Yung ipaparamdam nya sayo araw-araw na maganda ka. Inside and out. Yung hindi ikakahiyang hawakan ang kamay mo sa public places, i-kikiss ka sa noo kahit nasaan kayo. Hahawak sa kamay mo at ikikiss nya randomly. Yung hindi magsasawa iparamdam sayo na kahit na may mga weaknesses or flaws ka, tanggap at mahal ka nya at higit sa lahat yung nagpepray with and for you. And when he prays, he always mention how blessed he is and thankful to God that he has someone like me? O diba? Ako na mahaba ang hair!  Thank God

Ang sitwasyon nung HS na yun ay isang part ng story ko para mas maappreciate ko kung ano ang meron ako ngayon. Nakwento ko lang naman to! Okay na ako.

Sa mga High School friends ko? Kilala nyo ba ang tinutukoy ko? Haha I forgive him anyways. God bless! Nakakamiss ang High School life. 🙂

-Princess

Congratulations! Your Visa has been approved

“We are going to Georgia and you guys need to apply for visa” our Pastor told us. I am currently attending at Church of Zion Aruba covered by Congregational Holiness Church which is based in Griffin, Georgia. As a part of the praise and worship team or music ministry, I needed to join. Well, not really required, we are not forced though. But wait… it’s America? Let’s be all real, everyone wants to go there, everyone dreams to go there especially for ordinary people like me. I have been living in Aruba for 4 years now. I have known some Filipinos who’ve been here like 10years, 20 years or more, some are already Dutch Passport holders.

What are the requirements to be approved? Oh okay..If it’s not for business purpose and you only want to have visa for pleasure or holidays. Here’s from what I have heard from others and I used to believe.

  1. You should be a 10year resident.
  2. Your bank account, if you are a single should at least have 10 thousand guilders.
  3. House and lot property
  4. Car
  5. Good Job position with a good salary

So, I believed I am not qualified.

  1. 4 years living in Aruba and still renewing permit every year
  2. I just opened my bank account. I do not have a lot of money
  3. NO house and lot property
  4. NO car, not even a license.
  5. Household worker, no payslip given

Will I dare to try? Yes. Why? Here’s what I can boast about and believe that I am qualified.

I HAVE A BIG GOD!!

After worship service last Sunday, May 29, we (other churchmates) traveled to Curacao. Our appointment date for U.S. Visa interview is May 31st. In total, we 7 people from Church of Zion who will be applying for visa.

It is easy for me to be negative but this isn’t planned. I was about to cancel my application due to financial issue. I couldn’t afford. “Ptr, I might cancel my application” I messaged him. But after that, I know in my heart God wants me to go and try. I prayed. “Lord if its your will, you are our Jehovah Jireh, our provider, so If its your will, you will provide” Few minutes later, one of our church mates messaged me. She also applied for an appointment for Visa. We were talking about the requirements and I told her that I already messaged the pastor that I am cancelling. And she asked why. I told her. To make it short, she offered help and I was able to join them to Curacao. With the help of my brother too, he provided my pocket money and for accommodation.

I am not poor. HAHA. God is rich and he promised to never leave me nor forsake me and he proved that how many times.

Monday, We walked to the down town in Curacao. It was nice. We also went to the Aquarium and Dolphin Academy. I liked it. Fun. Dinner at Kyoto Japanese Restaurant. There are Filipinos working there. It was so good to see Kababayans 🙂 They are nice people.

It was a long day, we went back to the hotel and we prayed and worshiped God. Preparing our hearts for the interview, declaring that it is all about God. We will do it for God’s glory. We will minister to Georgia and it’s just a bonus if we have some pleasure there. But the main goal is, we will do ministry there and meet other fellow Christians. We claimed that we are all approved.

At night when we go on our respective beds. I was talking to God and really amazed how God made things beautiful. I am a pessimistic person. I am sad to admit that but there were times I think more of negatives. Well, people did not really notice that. Only God knows the real me. His grace covered me. I am a worship leader, I love worshipping God through singing. It is my passion and nothing and no one can stop me by doing it. It is my life. When I worship, things changed, my views, my perspective, my heart is full of His peace and joy. Who would not want to be in this place, in His presence. As we pour out our hearts towards Him, He is pouring our His presence to us. And His presence is a life to me.

But I would also admit that there were days the enemy is trying to occupying my heart and mind with negative thoughts. I fight and God is fighting for me as well. I believe. That evening. I prayed again “Lord, I rebuke all this negative thoughts, they are not from you, help me sleep and relax tonight so I would be able to answer questions with gladness and peace in my heart.”

I slept good. Thank God! The moment I woke up, God spoke to me “You are approved” I smiled and really smiled.. Happy because I heard him and secondly, I have peace and joy. I relaxed the whole morning and waited to be interviewed.

3 Questions:

  1. Do you work? What is your job?

Yes. I am a household worker in Aruba. I smiled 🙂

2. You are working for a family? How long you’ve been working with them?

1 year last February

3. How long you’ve been living in Aruba

4years

 

The interviewer asked questions to my brother and other 2 church mates. We were blessed because all the questions regarding church and all were asked to the first batch, other members of the church.

“Okay, Congratulations Your Visa has been approved, follow these instructions.”

Yesterday we received our passports. Thank God. Georgia here we go! 🙂

What else can I say? What a mighty God we serve. HE can do impossible things to possible. And God is truly amazing in giving us favor and grace. Praise Jesus!