An Open Letter to Myself

Dear Princess,

It’s okay to be not okay sometimes. What you are going through right now is not unplanned. God knows it and he knows what He is doing. I want you to hang in there. I want you to again see your worth. Negative thoughts, extreme sadness, and feeling so low are not good, I know. But here… “Now is not Forever”. There is a time for everything. Everyone experiences hardships and pains. Doubts and fears are so present in you right now but I know you know what to do about it. Open your heart again, open your Bible and remind yourself how God sees you. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. I understand if these past few days you have been struggling,  not doing anything, staying in the room, not going out and procrastinate the whole day. It’s been two weeks, I’ve seen you suffer that long. I understand, but aren’t you getting up this time? That’s enough, Princess. You have to get up and pull yourself together.

Those choices and poor decisions you made are all in the past now, please get up and move on. Do not dwell on the past. People around you will say something, will judge you and even gossip about you but please be reminded that your worth doesn’t depend on their opinions. Let it be and let it go. Do not be too harsh on yourself. You are not a criminal. You are not what you think you are. You’ve been telling yourself that you are dumb, nothing and such a disappointment. Well, you are so wrong. It’s the enemy that keeps installing those on your head. God doesn’t look at you that way.

You are a jolly person, you are responsible, you are smart and you can do anything for God gives you strength. You are loved and highly favored. Don’t you remember all the prayer answered? Why are you so sad? Remember His love towards you, Princess. You asked for it, right? You wanted to experience having a parent around. God answered you. He brought you here in Aruba where you can see your father. One Happy Island? Yes, it’s not as happy when you were in the Philippines but admit it there are things in here that make you happy as well. Remember those and see the beauty of life. Enjoy them and be thankful.

Do you remember when you asked God to bring your siblings here? You were crying almost every day asking God to bring them. God did. It was a great day to you and you were really grateful. See? God answers prayers, He will grant our requests in the right time. An unexpected and uncontrolled situation happened, your sister needed to go back to the Philippines. It was an awful season for you and your family. But God helped everyone to get up. That’s part of His plan so you learned to let go. How about the request you asked about your first employer? Every day was a struggle to you but you endured it for three years? You didn’t show to everyone that it’s really difficult because you focused on His promises. “He will not leave you nor forsake you, he will rescue you.” I can still remember how happy you were the night you took all your things out of that house. You can’t help but cry and whisper when you were in the car “I am free. Thank you, Lord” Tears fell. They were tears of joy. You persevered, you endured the years, Princess. It was not easy but you finished it. Because you can do anything. Don’t you believe that?

After that day, you went home to your father’s house. You brought all your things together with your heart, hopeful that there will be doors of opportunity coming. You needed someone to sign again for you for your next permit. You didn’t actually do anything but God sends your next employer right in front of you. He’s been faithful. I guess, He really wants you to stay on the island. You didn’t have any problem with the permit. He loves you so. While others struggle to have a permit, some were living here for quite some years and yet they don’t have a legal permit. Here you are, enjoying all the freedom and benefits. God is good in your life.

Just last year, you received a monster blessing. Your US Visa was approved and you got to see your Mommy in the US. It was your first time to spend that long, one month with her after she left abroad when you were 5years old. Isn’t it amazing? God is so good to you. Other Filipinos were told that only those who have the residence permit can be approved. It means only those who have 10permits, 10years living in Aruba. You only had four permits that time. They also said that you should have a property here. You don’t have. There are a lot of reasons not be approved, to be honest, but your visa still has been approved. I told you, You are highly favored. That is for you. His gift for you. So pull yourself together and be grateful, count your blessings.

You have finished your contract from the second employer. They were so nice to you. It’s a blessing. Did God forget about you? He wants you to know that He is in control. Sometimes you think, you can’t handle things anymore but God shows His mercy and grace. Recently, you just got an appointment for your next permit. Did God ever forsake you? No. He sends another one to sign for you, and you didn’t really chase for it. God is using people for you to see that everything is under control.

But didn’t you know why you got all the answers? These are some of His blessings to you. It’s not all. You had more. But are these enough to remind you He knows everything? He answered every single thing you asked, you know why? Today, I will remind you why. You got lost these past few days but today I will remind you again. It is because you BELIEVE. It’s already given and proven that God loves you so much. But God was delighted because you have believed. You let Him take control about everything and you just trust Him that He can do impossible things possible. When God says “YES” no one can stop him. He will fulfill his plans in your life no matter what. So why don’t you let him do it again? believe again? Believing means even you don’t see the answer yet, still you stay calm and let him take control. His answers are on the way now. Behind the scenes, he is working. You can’t understand that now but sooner or later you will. He will reveal them to you. 

While you are waiting, why don’t you worship again? That’s what you usually do. You pour out your heart to Him no matter how difficult the situation is. Because you know that this is the only and best thing you can ever be done while you are waiting for— Worship. Thanking Him for all He has done in your life, giving him the glory for all the achievement you have received. Whatever his answers to your questions and requests,  you receive them freely because you are trusting him. Say these again to Him “I will still love you even it hurts””I will still choose you no matter what” “I want you in my life””I will worship no matter what the circumstances” You know when you worship, you found peace, joy, and love, you found life. That’s where you belong, Princess. In HIS presence. 

So let it be. Let it go. Lay it all down. Trust Him. Believe that He has greater plans in your life. God believes in you so you have to believe in yourself again. These trials are nothing compare to what God has prepared for you in the future. Fix yourself, fix your eyes on Him again. He is all you need. Do not worry about what people may say. Listen to what God is telling you. So get up and be confident in Him. 

You are a Princess. His princess. His daughter. Smile and be confident. You are beautiful.

 ** I had to remind myself so I wrote these things in my planner/journal. Thank you for reading. Yes, I struggle but I will get up so I hope and pray for those who also experience the same thing, the letter is for you too. He loves you so. Love yourself too.

Stand up, stand out and Shine!





DIY 2017 Bullet Journal/Life Planner Set Up

I love writing and journaling but this is actually my first time doing a BuJo. After browsing on the internet especially on Pinterest. I finally decided to make my own. 

I used colored cardstock, white papers and some stickers. I bought them at Palais Hindu and Dyon Center. At first, I wanted to just simply buy one. I saw a beautiful planner/journal at Kate Spade. I wanted it so bad but it’s quite expensive. So I decided to do DIY Planner. It’s more fun to design your own, though. 

The categories I have:

1. Day Planner- my daily plan

2. Ministry – all about church stuff.

3. Expenses

4. Notes

5. Goals 

6. Projects

7. Contacts

Honestly, I just use this dividers I saw from an old organizer at home. I didn’t buy them. You can always make your own. Go to Microsoft Excel or Word, type your categories and print. 
Someone gave me a hanging calendar. I used it for my planner. 

I don’t really have much to do but I decided to plan to be productive. It is helpful for me to stop procrastinating. I honestly lost my motivation here, I wanted and praying to go back Philippines. It is really hard to be an overseas worker. I have to be strong and strive harder. So this is good to track how am I doing with my life. But you know, its not that easy to go back to my country because I have met my love of my life here. So trying to motivate myself and keep going. 

That’s my daily plan looks like. I am sorry for the mess around. I don’t have table in my room. I have a small room but I am thankful I have place to sleep. 😝 I put verse everyday so I am always be reminded how faithful God is and to trust him everyday. I also add a habit tracker. Since, I also love scrapbooking, I kinda like to design my pages sometimes. I am planning to add pictures as well. Sounds fun!  Besides from daily plan, I also have a weekly plan. To be honest, I am more into designing my pages. 😂  But I have to remind myself to plan and be really serious about doing it. Keep motivated and determined. Every good memories are good to write down. When you have to look back, you’ll remember how you days become happy! I put a page for special memories.  If you are planning to make one for your journal, bring out the artistic spirit in you. As long as you are having fun, go for it!

I love watching movies with special someone,family and friends. One of my to-do list for this year is to watch alone. Let’s see! Hihi. And, of course, Korean series are the best! OMG it’s really fun to watch korean love stories 😍 This is not necessary but for me it’s fun to write them down. I added page for them 😅

Next, birthday and special events. You’ll be reminded to greet them and do something for your friends and love ones. I added this because I used to memorize all of their birthdays but because of technology, we sometimes depend on fb reminders or phone reminders. It’s not bad to do that but for me, I wanted to remember them by heart. 

Because of so much websites to join, we sometimes forget our passwords. So Websites with Password page in your journal can help you remember them. But of course, be really careful not to leave your journal unattended. 

Good thing about Bullet Journal, you can add more pages as much as you want. I also put some quotes and motivational and inspirational reminders between the days or weeks. You can choose where you want them to put. It’s really helpful for me to keep going especially when I don’t have enough courage to do something. Reminding myself that God created me to do something  great in this world. Remind yourself everyday that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. 

So far, this is my set up. I got some ideas from Youtube and Pinterest. Happy Journaling! 😘 

Better Late Than Never

Yes, it’s 2017. I’ve been wanting to write but I was so off these past few months. But it’s new year I have to gather myself, stand up and face the new chapter of life. Today, I decided to review my 2016  life. God wants us to be thankful and rejoice all the time. I am a Christian, yes, but it doesn’t mean I don’t experience sadness and all. Everyone is under construction, I believe. Everybody has problems in different forms. We just have to learn to face them and handle them well. Anyways, I will be sharing my 2016 Goals accomplished & unaccomplished and Prayers answered in this post.

2016 Goals and Prayers – Review

  1. Gift of Giving

God has been so good to me ever since and he never stop showing me that He is my Jehovah Jireh, my God who provides. There are a lot of people around me that always give so I prayed and desired to exercise the gift of giving. It was kinda difficult for me because my status here in Aruba is not stable but still I wanted to share even little things.

  •  I donated some of my clothes.
  • I helped a friend with financial.
  • I gave handmade bookmarks
  • I created handmade cards and gave to those I loved and appreciated.

     2. Driving Lessons/License

Unfortunately I still didn’t get my license but practicing driving.

      3. Bank Account

Yey! Finally, I opened February 2016. I arrived here in Aruba 2012 and I struggled to open an account because of some circumstances. I am not trying to broadcast everything about my life but for me this is really an accomplishment. HAHA 🙂 Thank God.

     4. Read books/novel. (10 or more)

Hmm.. I only read 5 books:

  • Kontento ka na ba sa kaperahan mo? Vic and Avelyn Garcia (Unleash the highest Potential of you Money)
  • Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom
  • The Power of Right Believing – Joseph Prince
  • Best of Me – Nicholas Sparks
  • Become a Better You (7Keys to Improving your Life Everyday) – Joel Osteen
  • Hunger Games (Mockingjay) – well this, until now I didnt finish the last book. Hihi (almost..almost!)

   5. Study /Learn Papiamento

I understand but I can’t speak fluently.

   6. Be confident.

To be honest, I struggled so much with confidence but God is guiding me. There are times I really feel brave and confident.

     7. Apply for a New Job

I did. I had part times. And again, because of my status here in Aruba which is not stable, I couldn’t get a full time. But I am good. I thank God for His provision and grace everyday.

       8. God’s presence and obedience to Him.

This should always be the top priority of every Christian.He is so good and deserve our service. I still am a Worship Leader at our church and a Tambourine Dance Coordinator.

    9. Cover Songs with Brandon (him playing guitar, me singing)

Well we jammed few times but we still haven’t record any. HEHE this for 2017 Goals 🙂

     10. Travel (anywhere God wants)

This is unexpected but I prayed for this and when I returned to my notebook. I was really in tears for he answered prayers. Places I went to:

  • Curacao
  • US – Orlando, Georgia, Savannah, South Carolina

    11. Write Consistently.

I can say that this year I did write so much. Blogs, journal, personal etc.

    12. New Laptop

I know maybe those who read my old posts, I always say about God’s grace. I am not exaggerating it but His grace is truly amazing. I got mine for free. 🙂

    13. New Printer

Yes, I got one. Thank you Lord

   14. Get more followers on WordPress.

When I was writing this last year, I had 6 followers on my blog. I targeted and wanted to reach 50 followers. I have 62 followers now. WOW! hihi Thank you so much.

     15. Dental Check up.

I had a root canal operation.

   16. Receive an unexpected blessing! Great things. I am excited.

I wrote them exactly like that. The monster blessing was US Visa was approved. I got a chance to travel last year and visit my mom. It was really awesome experience.To God be the glory!

     17. Lose Weight.

HAHA. Sorry but I gained more. 🙂

The Bible says in Proverbs 16:9, In their hearts human plan their course, but the Lord establish their steps. 

I do not ask more and unbelievably ones. I only asked God that whatever I have, to help be content and be happy. I think that is more important in life. BE CONTENT. I had so much blessings last 2016, I also had down moments but those are also blessings so I can draw more closer to Him. I thank God for everything. For material blessings, unexpected ones, great ones but also for all the pains and struggles for they are also used to make me brave. God makes me brave. I praise God for the last year and I will thank and adore Him for this new year. Better Late than Never. Happy New Year! 🙂