Category Archives: OFW

If you can’t say it, write it.

I’m kind of inspired to blog today, which I haven’t done like in ages. Wish I have all the time in the world to write every single day. I always want to write about something randomly, but I just end up not doing it because, at one point, I worry so much about how people will handle or look at how I write and view things. And it also because there are so many things to do that I couldn’t get any time to do this. But it is always in my heart to express myself, my thoughts through writing. If some point, I could inspire someone through it, I would love to keep doing this.

“You’re deep.” I’ve heard this a lot of times. I usually show the jolly part of me but for some, like the closest ones, I instantly share my deep self. Or let me say, I am a very open person. I guess? I trust people easily and I get to share my true self if I feel comfortable with a person. Or simply, I am an open book. If you follow my past blogs, I shared mostly about my personal stuff. And I don’t feel bad about them, I think I don’t mind if people will judge me? I just don’t care, anymore. Well, I did, before. But now I don’t care. This is one of the things I am passionate about, I feel better when I do this and this keep going because I love doing this – writing, blogging.

I am writing to express myself not to impress someone. I feel like I am a different person when I start to type my thoughts and put my heart into it. Hmm. different person? I said it wrong, actually. I am being myself. Those words that I couldn’t say, thoughts that continually screaming on my head. I couldn’t say them so I write about it.

I am not gonna boast but I think I am a good listener. When someone is sharing serious things to me, I am that person who just tries to put my feet on their shoes. When I was a youth leader in our church in the Philippines, I have heard a lot of painful stories, heartaches, breakdown, family problems, financial problems. Gosh, name it. Anything under the teenage lives. I and my sister somehow became their counselors. Do not get me wrong, I love doing that. Not that I love the pains they’re going through but the part that I am that someone who can listen when they needed it.

Listener. For many years, I was one of the people they run to when they are going through tough times, and I am flattered. I thank God for the strength and wisdom and for the trust they have given me. Up to today, there are some of them who still remember me and keeping in touch even I am miles away. And I appreciate it, thank you so much! I do not want to sound I am the kindest person in the world ever, please do not get me wrong. I was grateful for the Lord gave me the chance to be their encourager and like a loving ate to them. (ate is an older sister in our language, Tagalog) because these kids, I am telling you, they just need someone to listen to. Someone who understands how they feel. That’s all. You win their hearts.

But with all honesty, at one point in my life, I got tired and burnt out. People look up to you, they think that you are always strong, that you are not allowed to be weak, you are not allowed to make mistakes. You try to help to make them feel better but they never have seen you struggling. They don’t see you weak. Because you are known to be that someone who will make them feel strong. It wasn’t me actually, it was GOD. I was just letting Him used me. God’s grace is just sufficient, and I am forever grateful for that. I do not want to be a bother to anyone, so I chose not to share my weaknesses. I chose to handle them on my own and just simply give them, surrender them to God. God comforts but let’s just be real here, I am human. I am imperfect.

That’s when my love for writing begins. I let my heart out through my writing. Besides from singing my voice and lungs out, HAHA I love to write to express myself – the jolly one and the weak one. It’s not about having a dual personality but I am just being who I really am. I struggle too, I cry too, I get angry too, and most of the time, I couldn’t say my words bluntly, I write them out. And it feels better. I just feel free.

I started blogging a few years ago because of the feeling that I am not being heard and understood. And in here, no matter how bad I am at this, I feel like I have a voice. I had moments when I couldn’t speak it up, they were screaming on my head and then I felt better when I wrote about it.

Today, I want to share the part of me that is about to explode. I am being bullied. And I don’t like it. Who would like it, anyway? I can’t say it because I am avoiding trouble but it honestly bothering me these days. Even though I said it to some and thought I am not affected or don’t care anymore, a part of me is kind of sad. But to be positive about it, it toughens me. To not worry how they treat me, is a tough one. right? For a sensitive person like me, it is not easy.

Living in a foreign country isn’t easy either. When you have to strive harder to live on the island legally, when you accepted any job including being a maid even you are a degree holder, even you finished your college, you have a diploma. You just have to keep going to be legal and abide by the law. When they step on you, you let them because you couldn’t stand for yourself, you just have to swallow it, cried it out and move on the next day. When you are being yelled at because you couldn’t carry an item three times or four times heavier than you, and accused of getting their things.

And recently, when people look down on you because you don’t speak their language when they don’t want to work with you when your colleague tells everyone not to speak English with me and tells you how terrible I am for living in the island for many years and I don’t speak it. Rolled eyes.

Let me tell you, I understood and I speak it a little. They can’t expect me to speak it fluently. And the job I have right now, I talk mostly to English speaking clients. I am not trying to justify it, I know I have to learn it, it’s just it takes time. But I am being judged, looked down and bullied because I am not local.

“You don’t belong here.” a voice telling me.

It’s sad because they don’t even know me. But what is the saddest part? I let them. I allowed them. I let them step on me. I let them look down on me because I avoided confrontation so the result is, I am not myself. I cry my eyes out, I am hurt and it feels like I am the one who did something wrong. I am writing this because it is not about them anymore. It is me. It is me to toughen. I have to stop them there. I have to learn to stand up for myself.

I won’t let anyone look down on me, step on me. ANYMORE. It has to stop.

On the other hand, a person who is so mean has something rough going on in her/his life, full of hatred and insecurities. I pity those people. But this is not an excuse to treat other people bad. We all have to grow up and learn from experiences. This is so hard for me to say or do but I will pray for them. IF this is something I can only do so they will encounter God’s goodness in their lives, I will do it. I will try my best to still be nice no matter how they treat me.

For them: I don’t expect you to be my friends, just respect me as a person. And It’s enough.

Lastly, don’t mess with a person who loves to write.


I’m back

Depression isn’t easy.

I remember the days when I used to suffer from it. I had symptoms but no one notices, I had a smile on my face every time they see me but they didn’t know I was dying inside. I had attempts and thoughts of ending my….. I don’t even want to say it… suicide. Oh well! What is it to be shy about? People judges you, they know you are a Christian and they thought you can’t experience such things. But let me tell you this, Christians are humans. No matter how we try to do God’s will in our lives, we all have seasons and situations. We have feelings, we struggle too. Maybe the only difference is… we admit that we need JESUS. Whether you are a believer or not, we do all struggle.

God healed me. It took me long years. Yes, long years. Since I arrived here in Aruba, my life changed. I had to face the changes instantly. And I think I am one of the people who can’t just adopt quickly. I have to take my time, people shouldn’t force me. What happened is… people compare their situation to mine. That just because they experience the same hardship, I should also, adopt it quickly. Honestly, it was not easy for me but I tried and I kept moving.

There were times when I just simply want to go back to my own country, but I had to ask God if that’s what He also wants. I grew up with the heart wanting to do what God wants in my life. I failed Him many times and that’s just part of my journey. I learned from my disobedience and stubbornness. But I do believe in Him. He knows what He is doing and He is so good at it. Sometimes we don’t understand His plans are, but we just have to trust that He loves us.

The more I asked him “Why”? Why am I still here?” the more I experienced difficulties during those years. Depression kicks in. I wanted to do my own way, I wanted to control what’s going to happen in my life. I wanted things to happen the way I pictured them. But didn’t happen at all. I started to look down on myself, I have begun to hate myself, unknowingly I am hurting other people too. My behavior changed. And even I tried to look at good things at myself and at others, I failed and ended up becoming negative and isolating myself to others even to those who love me as I am. People didn’t see that. But I noticed it. I didn’t like it. I don’t like to dislike people just because they didn’t match to my personality.

To make it short, I got up and tried to rise up again. It’s a process. I had to make a planner list down I have to do the whole day so I can stay productive. Because when you’re depressed, you don’t want to do anything. You work but just because you need to but your heart isn’t there, your mind isn’t there. You only think about the negatives. You cry so much over nothing. You got mad over nothing. There is no life.

Reading the WORD, having quiet time and worshiping HIm even I was hurting was my ways of dealing with it. I ran to the ONE who created me. I ran to the ONE who writes down my story. He knows how to handle it. He knows me from the inside out. I do not have to worry because even I look at myself weak, even I look down on myself, He sees me beautiful, He sees me righteous and lovely. He never judges me. He loves me. That’s the truth. I clung to that. I held on to that.

Do not get me wrong for saying I look down on myself. People will say, you shouldn’t because God created you. He made you wonderfully and beautifully. Some will ask “Don’t you believe that?” You should, because you are a Christian. And I will say it again, I am human and I can still feel any feelings such as sadness, anger, frustrations, and depression. What I believe — we all have different situations and if we let Him mold us during the process, you will get out from it stronger. And the more you will know that HE is real. When you can’t do anything but trust Him. People will judge you and won’t understand what you are going through, but HIM. He knows everything and He knows me so well.

Everything happens for a reason and that is a truth.

If I will look back now, all I can say is “Thank you, Lord” If it wasn’t for Him, I don’t know where I am now. And I won’t be ashamed to tell my story and reveals God’s glory.

When I say I am back, it doesn’t only mean that I am back here in blogging, but literally, the one who I used to be is back. I met new people in my life and I am glad I could share my days, my thoughts, my heart to them. I got married to the man God made just for me. I got a new job, and I am blessed. Dreams, visions, and plans are active. I finally know what I want to do with my life, to keep living my purpose. I don’t look down on myself. I held to my identity in Christ. Even people will look down on me, I will get hurt but I get up believing that I am not who the people say I am. I am who God says I am. Every day is a challenge but I wake up hopeful, trusting that God is in control.

I still feel afraid sometimes, I am not perfect. But… God’s love gives me confidence. And I am forever grateful.

If you are experiencing depression, find help. You can also talk to me, I will not tell you what to do but to patiently listen. People who are depressed need people who know how to listen. The first step in overcoming depression is to believe that you are not alone.

Thank you for still reading up to this point. I appreciate it!







My very late 2017 Goals & Prayers Review.

“Better Late Than Never”

I am in the second month of 2018, but my thoughts are still from the last year. I am really grateful for the special events happened in my life. So here it goes. I don’t have fancy plans and goals last year but I love to look back and realized how God has been answering my prayers. On the other hand, those goals weren’t met will still be pursued for this year. Let us not stress ourselves on the things we didn’t accomplish.

  1. Driver’s License  – X

Man, it’s been two years since I am targeting this goal. My gracious Lord, have mercy on me! I supposed to have the test the August of 2017 but I had to go somewhere, out of the island and couldn’t make it. So I changed the date to this year, 2018.

     2. New Permit, my 6th.

I got it! Danki Dios! (Papiamento words mean “Thank God”). I wrote beside it ‘Thy will be done’. For someone like me who works in a foreign country, a legal paper is very important to stay on the island. I am blessed and favored by God that I never got denied, It’s such a blessing. I’ve seen Filipinos who struggle to get a permit to stay or to work here, they risked because they want to help their family. I am not against with such bravery to risk everything even they don’t have papers, they still work and be just alert if immigration officers are around, to run when they have to. To stay home for a while if they are in danger. I feel sad for them and happy at the same time. We all have a different perspective on life. I do respect that. If you are a foreigner, legal papers are important for you to stay. I am grateful, the Lord never let me missed one.

3. Read 12 books.

I wanted to finish one per month. Unfortunately, I only have read 6 books:

  • Have a New You by Friday
  • You can Begin Again – Joyce Meyer
  • So Close, I can Feel God’s Breath
  • Living Courageously – Joyce Meyer
  • Do It Afraid -Joyce Meyer

As you can see, I focused on motivational books this 2017. I really want to get up again so I chose to read inspirational and motivational books which I love most.

4. Blog MORE

Consistent. Oops. I skipped few months but I could say that I blog more this 2017 than 2016. It was my desire to have 15 more followers. I had 62 followers 2016 year end. The current followers I have are 80. Basically, 18 were added. Wow! Thank you guys and gals! Appreciate it. 🙂

5. Be Confident. Be Fearless.

I had a situation where I really had to be confident. I didn’t have a choice. Once in my life, I could say that I think about myself as Princess. And that is my name. It was my wedding day. There were things happened out of control but GOD taught me to stand up there walk down the aisle and think only about HIM being glorified in the event. God is good.

6. Job

Okay, this is a very sensitive topic for me. I found myself untouchable when this is to be talked about. I didn’t like the fact that I don’t have a stable job because of legal paper. But I am grateful that I could work part-time. I worked at Jewelry Store as Clerk from November 2016 – May 2017. I remember how happy I was working there but things changed later on. I left to visit my mom in the US for five months. I’m glad.

7. Be Beautiful on the inside.

What is being beautiful? I remember the year 2017 as one of the great years of my life. There were circumstances that I have to exercise forgiveness and love. When I asked God for this at the beginning of the year, I looked forward to good events, beautiful memories. Tell you what? The year became beautiful for me because of the painful events. I didn’t realize that until today.

Should I forgive? Should I get mad? I ended up forgiving. That is being beautiful for me. Guarding your heart against any anger and hatred is being beautiful.

8. More of God’s revelations.

WOW. I had plenty and they’re surprises I would never forget. God is a great God. He can make all things possible. He never fails to let me know I am loved and highly favored. In every event, God shows me that He is there working and planning things without me knowing until one day… SURPRISE! 🙂

God’s Surprise #1: Walt Disney World

God’s Surprise #2: Jollibee

God’s Surprise #3 Kari Jobe

God’s Surprise #4 Solar EclipseGod’s Surprise #5 North Carolina

God’s Surprise #5 North Carolina

Alam mo yung feeling na humingi ka lang ng konti pero grabe yung binigay nya? Sobra pa sa inaasahan mo. Sa pahinga at sa pagmamahal na pinakita nya sa akin sa taon 2017, wala akong ibang masabi kundi “Salamat po, Panginoon” 

9. Travel to Europe – X

It’s not bad to dream, right? It didn’t happen yet but I still believe I would see it, one day.

10. Visit Mommy in the US again.

My second time. God is so good. I had a wonderful five month with her and my little brother. I give God the glory.

11. Visit the Philippines. X

I was to write impossible things to see at the end of the year how possible it would be if we only believe. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to visit Philippines but hopefully 2018 is the year for me to see my family and friends there. It’s been 6 years…I miss them so much!

12. Ate Queen – to be Happy

She is my gorgeous older sister. I miss her so much. She lives in the Philippines. We still desire her to come back to Aruba but I prayed for God’s will in her life. I just want her to be happy. She didn’t come back but I am really happy for her. After seven years (if I am not mistaken) she finally opened her heart again to someone. She has a boyfriend now and their love story is amazing. My family is rejoicing with her. She needs someone there to keep her strong. She was separated from us. I and my brother are here in Aruba with my father. My other little brother and my Mom are in the US. Ate Queen is in the Philippines. I love my family no matter what.

13. Cover Songs

I covered some songs but not a lot. I still sing almost every day but privately mostly.


Tadaaah! I got married last December 2017 🙂 Finally. I and my husband (now) were in a relationship for four years and two months before the BIG DAY.

15. Unexpected Monster Blessing 2017

Last 2016, I looked forward to an ‘Unexpected blessing’ and turned out it was a Monster Blessing. Didn’t expect that my US Visa will be approved. I and some of the church members tried and we are all approved. Thank God. Amazing!

2017. I was challenged to write again and expect more from GOD. Expect the Unexpected. Besides from my Prayer and Goals for the year, I have a separate one for my Bucket List. Some of them were accomplished:

  • Disney World – I only wrote to hope one day to go to Disney. God gave me the best, It’s not Disney Land, it’s Disney World. I am forever grateful.
  • Kari Jobe Concert – To tell you honestly, she is one of my favorite worship leaders. I wanted to attend a Christian Concert of known artists. God just directed me to my favorite. I was in South Carolina that time when I saw her post about her “The Garden Tour” and when I asked mommy how far Aiken from her place. She said it’s nearby. I begged her to attend this concert. And we did.
  • Travel. I waited long for my papers to be processed here in Aruba. I can’t travel outside the island if my paper isn’t ready yet. As soon as I got it, my mom bought (unexpectedly) me a ticket to the US. Before going to South Carolina, I attended some conferences first in Georgia with church leaders. There, we also went to different places such as Stone Mountain, Baby Land / Cabbage Patch kids, Anna Ruby Falls. We also went to Alabama to worship with fellow believers there. It was an awesome experience!

16. Save More Money.

Well. you know? It’s really difficult to do this. HAHAHA.

17. Be Content. All the Time

I’ve learned to be thankful and content with whatever I have. And for that God pours more into my life. He is an amazing God and Father.

18. Be in A Magazine. X

HAHA. Dream dreams! It didn’t happen. Dream pa more.

19. Write a Story.

I always think about writing a story like the others, a novel. I am not there yet (hope, one day) But little did I know, I am truly writing one. MY STORY.

20. Compose New Songs X

I started writing songs five years ago. I stopped. And I literally forget about this. I should, huh?

‘Nah… there’s nothing to write about what happened last year.’ I was wrong. While typing this blog, I realized that there is plenty to be thankful for, prayers answered. Mostly, it’s only because of HIS GRACE why I received these things. To have a good check from what HE has done in your life is a blessing. You only not remember the painful events, but to really look at them, there is more good stuff than the ugly ones. So, for my hand who typed and my thoughts being poured out to this. I am proud. Wow. I said that “I am proud”… 

All this time I could only see the negative ones. But I am truly blessed, loved and highly favored. Thank you 2017! I am ready 2018..

WhatsApp Image 2018-02-09 at 12.34.27 PM

Thank you for reading!




Embrace the Place Where You Are

Do you know someone who is not happy with where he or she is in life? She is frustrated because she is not married, and her internal body clock is sounding an alarm. Or he is upset because somebody is not treating him fairly on his career path. They are constantly worried, trying to reason things out, trying to change things that only God can change.

I believe that we created much of our own unhappiness and frustration by constantly resisting and fighting against situations and circumstances occurring in our lives. We don’t understand why our prayers aren’t being answered, why things aren’t changing sooner. “Why has this happened to me?” Consequently. we live with unrest and uneasiness on the inside.

Learn to relax and accept the place where you are. Admittedly, it may not be a great place right now. We all have things we want to see changed, things we want to happen sooner. If we really believe that God is in control and is directing our steps, then we must believe that we are exactly where are supposed to be. We needn’t be wrestling with life and resisting our circumstances all the time.

Yes, we should resist the enemy; we should resist sickness and other robbers of joy. Now, that doesn’t mean that every minute we must be fighting and struggling. Some people seem to wear themselves out, constantly praying, resisting and rebuking. They beg, “Please, God, you’ve got to change this situation. Change my husband. I don’t like my job. My child won’t do right.”

No turn all of that over to God. Your attitude should be: “God, I’m trusting You. I know that You are in control of my life. I may not understand everything that is happening, but I believe You have my best interests at heart. I’m not going to go around resisting and struggling. I’m going to relax and enjoy my life.” Friend, if you can sincerely pray such a prayer, it can take an enormous amount of pressure off you.

The Bible says to “Be still, and know that I am God.” Notice, you need to get still. You need to be at peace with where you are right now. Things may not be perfect. You may have some areas in which you need to improve. But as long as you are living with worry and stress, you are trying the hands of Almighty God. If you could get to a place of peace, God could fight your battles for you. He can turn your negative situations around and use them for good.

Scripture records, “Those who have believed enter in to the rest of God.”Being in God’s rest means that although you may have a problem, you trust Him to take care of it. It means that you may have a situation that you don’t understand, but you are constantly trying to figure out. It means you have a dream in your heart, but you are not in a hurry, you’re not frustrated because it hasn’t come to fruition yet. In other words, when you are really in God’s rest, you know that God has you in the palm of His hand. No matter where you are, you accept it as the place God wants you to be.

I’m not saying that God wants you to stay there, but if you are truly trusting Him, if you believe He is in control, then wherever you are — in either good circumstances or bad –that is where you are supposed to be. Maybe something unfair has happened; maybe somebody is not treating you the right, or you are struggling financially. Still, that doesn’t give you the right to live upset and frustrated.

We have to understand that God has promised He will use whatever comes into our lives for good. He will use the difficulty to do a work in you. What are you facing currently may not be good, but if you’ll keep the right attitude, He’ll use it for your good.

**This is an excerpt from Joel Osteen’s book, Become a Better You: 7 Keys to Improving Your Life Every Day.

Bakit ba ako nandito?

Sinusubukan kong tapusin ang mga write ups ko na na-tengga na sa Drafts. Isa to inumpisahan ko. Ako ay napangiti nang nakita kong pamagat lang pala ang naisulat ko dito. LOL. Bakit nga ba ako nandito?

Sa apat na taon ko dito, patunay lang na hindi pa rin klaro sa akin ang dahilan kung bakit ako nandito. Nakita ko naman ang mga pagbabago sa buhay ko. Ang ilan dito ay maganda pero hindi rin makakaila na meron or mas marami ata yung hindi maganda. I do not want to sound complaining about my life. But if I will be honest with you, mas marami ata ang masakit na nangyari dito.

OFW. Di ko naman siguro kelangan pa isa isahin ang hirap ng isang OFW. Talaga naman kasing para tayong lage nasa battle, laban ng laban. Hangga’t kaya, sige lang. Pero dumarating talaga yun mga oras na hindi mo mapigilan hindi maging malungkot at alalahanin mga naiwan mo sa Pinas.

Dinadaan nalang yan sa tawa at sa panonood ng Koreanovela. Aba mahilig naman kasi talaga ako dyan. Bukod sa ang popogi nila at makikinis, talaga naman maganda ang stories ng mga Korean series lalo na pagdating sa pag-ibig. Ang pure kasi. Kaya marami ang nawiwili dito dahil lahat naghahangad ng fairy-tale love story. LOL 🙂

So Bakit ba ako nandito? :

  1. Dahil kay Papa

Lahat ng mga OFW ang major reason nila ay ang makatulong sa family financially. Syempre yun din dahilan ko, di ako gaya-gaya HAHA pero alam naman natin na ang hirap talaga ng buhay sa Pinas, diba?

Pero isa sa mbigat na dahilan ko kaya ako nandito ay dahil gusto ko makasama si Papa. Bata palang ako OFW na ang parents ko. Broken family din ako dahil din dyan. Hindi ko naman sila masisi pero isa akong product ng broken family. Kung maganda siguro ang buhay namin noon, hindi na kailangan mang-ibambansa ang Mommy. Oo, sya ang unang umalis. 6years old ako noon. Sad truth, hindi ko talaga na experience yung Mommy-daughter moment. Kasi naririnig ko lang sya sa voice tape pa noon. Nararamdaman lang sya sa mga packages, yung pakiramdam na binabalot nya yung mga padala nya sa amin. Di pa uso skype noon and hindi pa techy mga tao. So, buwan ang hihintayin bago mabasa mga sulat namin.

Mahirap ba yun? Aba syempre hindi… hindi ko makaka-ila. Mahirap at masakit. Sa picture mo lang sya napagmamasdan. Kinailangan rin umalis ng Papa, that time ako ay nasa High School na. Third year HS ata ako noon. Pero dahil nga nagkakalabuan na rin sila Papa noon, umalis din si Papa pero ibang bansa din. At dito na nga yun sa Aruba.

Marami na ang nangyari pero gusto ko din linawin na wala akong galit sa mga magulang ko. Tanggap ko na at mahal ko sila kahit ano pa man ang mga naging desisyon nila sa buhay. Bilang isang anak, ayaw ko isumbat sa kanila ang mga naging pagkakamali din namin dahil wala sila sa tabi namin upang gabayan kami. Dahil naniniwala ako na ang lahat ng pangyayari sa buhay natin ay may dahilan.

Ang haba na nito no? Andyan ka pa ba? So to make it short, I wanted to feel having parents beside you. Kasi matagal tagal namin di naramdaman yun. Maniniwala kaba kung ang tanging dasal ko lang noon bata bata pa ako ay ang magkaroon ng ‘family picture’? Simple lang siya pero malalim, mahirap makamit. 🙂

Sa kagustuhan ko mapalapit sa magulang ko dahil sa paniniwala na magiging kumpleto ako pag maramdaman ko na kasama ko sila, nagdecide ako na magtrabaho na din abroad. At alam mo ba na hindi naging madali sa akin iwan ang comfort zone ko? Dun ako nagkamuwang, nagkaroon ng kaibigan, nagmahal at minahal at nagkatrabaho na akala ko hindi pa enough.

Dahil kay Papa kaya ako nandito. I want to be closer to him. Pero alam mo ba na malungkot ako? Hindi ko kasi alam if na-aapreciate nya yun. Hindi ko alam if ramdam nya na mahal ko sya. Hindi ko alam if proud ba sya sa akin. Siguro one day, malalaman nya din na kahit ganito ako ngayon. Nasa bahay lang ako ngayon isang buwan na, jobless. HAHA balang araw magiging proud din sya sakin.

So, may isa pa akong prayer. Si mommy naman. Bago man lang ako magsettle down (naks! ikakasal na ang bata), maranasan ko naman ang Mommy-daughter bonding. Sapat na siguro ang kay Papa, though alam kong kulang pa. Pero I know Papa loves me at mga kapatid ko, lahat ginagawa nya para sa amin. Alam ko na kahit hindi man sya showy, mahal na mahal nya pa rin kami.

2. Para sa kanya

Maarte.’para sakanya pa’ nalalaman. HAHA. Nakilala ko dito ang mapapangasawa ko. So, kaya ako nandito ay para makilala ko sya. O diba? Ang magbabago ng takbo ng buhay ko at apelyido ko. Boom! Wait… wag nalang makasiguro baka pagdating sa dulo hindi rin pala matuloy at sasama na rin ako sa mga organisasyon ng mga single na sumisigaw ng “Walang Forever”

3. God alone

All for God’s glory. Nandito ako para patunayan na kahit na anong hirap ng buhay hindi pa rin magbabago ang katotohanang ang Diyos at tapat kailanpaman. Mahirap maging katulong kahit na tapos ako ng pag-aaral. Pero dahil nga kelangan ko mag-comply sa rules nila dito, tiniis ko. Sa mga panahon na iniiyak ko ito sa Kanya, isa lang napatunayan ko. Never ako iniwan ng Diyos. Sa bawat patak ng luha at pagtawa ko Sya lang ang nagiisang may alam ng tunay na laman ng aking puso. Sige seryoso na to. HAHA Basta ang sinasabi ko langh. Bakit ko nakakya lahat? Kasi andyan si Lord.

Kung binabasa mo pa din ito, salamat po. Naapreciate ko po ng sobra. God bless you!

-Princess in Aruba

There’s a lot to discover

 “Never judge someone
By the way he looks
Or a book by the way it’s covered;
For inside those tattered pages,
There’s a lot to be discovered”
Stephen Cosgrove

Not all we see is real. Not all we heard is true. This past few months of reading, browsing, researching and following stories after stories, issues after issues about Philippine Presidential Candidacy 2016, I’ve seen and heard how dirty politics is, how bias medias are and how poor governance we really have. Filipinos’ outrage voices around the world had been heard on social media. Posts, video clips, comments and reactions regarding this filled my Facebook wall and timeline.

I participated twice in election but once in Presidential Election. I was not able to vote this year for my name was not in the list. But it doesn’t mean I do not have a voice and won’t participate. I won’t shut up. (Shut up na lang, pag di voters?) I believe election is not for voters only, its for all Filipinos. I so love my country and I can’t wait to see changes. I can’t wait to come home without worrying about the robbers and snatchers. I can’t wait to see the places with less traffics. Safety and security, I can’t wait to trust police who exercise peace and order. I cannot wait to see peace and order.

Do I have a voice? Yes I have. I am not a voter but I am a Filipino. I am an OFW (Overseas Filipino Workers). If our government is not corrupt, there will  be no OFW around the world, leaving their country, family and love ones for they want to give their children a better life. Do you think they want to leave them? DO you think they love being in other place, suffering, crying so hard at night because of homesickness. They are not only physically tired but fighting as well mentally and emotionally. I know some of them broke down and completely disconnect from reality. They lost their mind. Not all are strong but all of them striving to be strong. This is a cry of a Filipino who among millions of people desiring and hoping for changes in the country. We are rich in resources. I really believe we are rich but sadly to say Corruption is killing us all.

I am for Mayor Rodrigo Duterte as President.

(CTTO)   Davao City Mayor Rodrigo Duterte


Rodrigo “Rody” Roa Duterte[2] (born March 28, 1945), nicknamed Digong, is a Filipino lawyer, politician and the 16th President-elect of the Republic of Philippines[3]. He is among the longest-serving mayors in the Philippines and has been mayor of Davao City, a city of 1,449,296 people on Mindanao island, for seven terms, totalling more than 22 years. He has also served as vice-mayor of and congressman for the city.

Popular with the locals due to his successful zero tolerance policies against criminals, he was given the nickname “The Punisher” byTime.[4]Vigilante groups tied to Duterte are thought to be responsible for the execution of drug traffickers, criminals, gang members and other perceived “lawless elements”. During Duterte’s 22 years in office, the crime rate in Davao City, in the 1970s and 1980s known as the “murder capital of the Philippines”, went down. While the city presents itself as one of the world’s safest places,[5]recent data from the Philippine National Police lists Davao City as the city with the highest number of murders and with the second highest number of rape incidents in the country.[6]

Duterte had been urged to run for the Philippine presidency numerous times, [7] but refused these offers until well into 2015 on the grounds of a “flawed government system” and opposition from his family.[8] Nevertheless, on 21 November 2015 he declared his candidacy in the 2016 election contest for the office of the President of the Philippines.

Source: Google, Wikipedia

I am one of the millions who supports him. He has a bad mouth, yes, he curses and all. He is a womanizer which he admitted also, but he is the only politician I’ve known who really catches the heart of many Filipinos because of his sincerity, love for people and the country. I am a Christian and I do not say bad words but I do not judge him, in fact I started to pray for him and admire him. Hmm… I wanted to say more but yeah… For me, he is still the best among the rest.

CTTO: CNN Philippines


But I respect other’s opinion. We have different views and belief. My father is for Grace Poe, my grandmother is for Mar Roxas, Me and my siblings are for Mayor Duterte. We are okay with that. We respect. Vote for who you think the right person. We are all free to choose.

I look up to Duterte, he is like a father to me. My sister and I prayed so hard for him and even want to hug him for all the defamation. We still believe in him. We even cried  for him (a lot!) “Change is coming”. Yesterday was the election. After he voted, he went to his parents grave and the video of him went viral for he sobbed in front of his Mom’s grave. I know and I feel that cry is not only because he misses his mom but that is also for the Philippines, for the people, for me, for us. ‘The Punisher’ has surely has the heart. Change is coming and God will use him.

Mayor Duterte leads insurmountable.

‘It’s with humility, extreme humility, that I accept this, the mandate of the people,’  Duterte says in Davao City (Rappler) 

Congratulations! I am a Filipino and my President is Rodrigo Duterte.



Realizations on turning 29ish

Kids want to get old and old people wanted to be kids again. The same feeling as others who turned at this age, I had that moment of truth as well. Like “Wait, really? What happened?” This is also a moment where you evaluate your life and will have a deep realizations. Let me share my thoughts on turning 29ish.

  1. LIFE IS SHORT, Be Content.

We usually hear this when a person dies, but this time no one dies. I just become more aware of my age. If we only know when will we die, I am sure all of us will live everyday as if it is your last. But reality check, we do not know when. But we all know that our life here on earth is short to be negative all the time. Why not spend your years meaningful and happy? How?

Contentment is one of the answers. Life is not a competition. We are all given a life to enjoy. Just because some are rich you should hate yourself being poor and choose to pity yourself.  Just because you are in Philippines and most of your friends work abroad doesn’t mean you are not successful. Also, just because they work abroad doesn’t mean they don’t experience struggles and hardships. We all do, wherever we are, whatever we do, we all undergo in the process of learning and enjoying life. Admit it or not, we have and/or had depressions and anxiety attacks at times. You started to look down on yourself and believe the thinking that you are nothing because you also starting to compare yourself to others.

We always want more. I remember someone who once said “If I will only have that phone, I will end up there and will not ask for more” he got that phone, but guess what every year he wants to change his phone. High technology, trending, everyone has it and ending up “I want that too”. If cellphone is only a way of communication and if it still works, why should I buy a new and expensive one? It is okay to upgrade or buy whenever and whatever you want. Its not a problem as long as you can afford and know your priorities. My point is, in our lives we never be content if we will freely let ourselves flow how the world goes. You get frustrated when you can’t have what you want, the luxurious life that everyone wants, and start to be feel jealous and compare self to others. Be content. If they are rich, let them be rich. If you think you are poor, you are wrong. God has given us everything we need. You just have to know the difference between NEEDS and WANTS.

Hebrews 13:5(ESV)

Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

1 Timothy 6:6-11 (ESV)

But godliness with contentment is great gain, for we brought nothing into the world, and[a] we cannot take anything out of the world. But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content. But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. 10 For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs.

When I was younger, I used to be like someone who wants more. I want this and that. I had deep thoughts of being rich. Big own house, car and beautiful branded clothes. I spent time thinking and wishing my life to be like that, perfect as others look at it. And when I came back to reality, I started to get mad at my parents. “If only they are rich” But as time goes by, as I learned from life and see what truly the real treasure is and through God’s word, the light unto our path, I changed. My perspective in life changes. That “if only they/I am rich” turns to “If only I am content”. If only from the very start, I am content, I would be happier and appreciate the beauty of life. It is okay. It’s not to late. God wants us to be content. I do not want to spend my life on earth comparing my life to others. I want and choose to be content. Thank God for his correction and learning.

 2. Love Yourself.

This is a broad topic to discuss. I do not want to be misunderstood when I say “Love and Be yourself” God loves everyone of us and he accepts us for who we are. I will only talk about a situation where self pity and low self esteem  overwhelm me.

Many of us dwell on the thoughts “I am not good enough” “I am not capable” “I can’t achieve great things” “I am miserable” “I can’t achieve my dreams””I will be forever like this” Regardless of age, we tend to dwell on negative thoughts. “Buti pa sila” “Buti ka pa” Those words and thoughts unconsciously destroying your character and personality. You forget who you are because you are filled with others attainments and start to even look on their flaws as well to make yourself believe either you are better than them, or you think you are wretchedly unhappy.  Both results are not good If you don’t know how to balance, you will become insecure and ending up comparing yourself to others and hatred starting to fill your heart to the people too. You think they’ve got them all good together in their lives and you don’t. Sadly you become hard on yourself unknowingly. You become jealous about other’s possessions and achievements instead of focusing on your abilities and accomplishments.

Social media is something we can have an access on others’ lives and you started to think that they are more blessed or fortunate than you are. It is normal that we sometimes feel jealous, everybody feels that, admit it or not. But it always good that you will have a good check in your heart from time to time. If you want to have a peaceful life. Star to love yourself and see the good things in your heart. I personally admire people who are happy to others success. They are very few. Do not be somebody else. Be yourself. Love yourself.

There will always be someone who is better than you, prettier or more handsome than you, smarter than you, richer than you but there is only one YOU. You are unique. When I realized that I really wanted to write, a dream held in my heart for a long time. I doubted it first because I focused on others’ works. They are so good and I am not. I admit I still have to learn things. But one thing I have learned, I won’t achieve any goals in my life if I won’t step on it. JUST DO IT. I do not write because everyone has the ability to write (for bloggers and writers), I write because I love to. I need this to make me feel happy and fulfilled. They are better than me yes, I know. I admire them but instead of focusing on those ‘more than you’, look into your heart, START appreciating your own self and you will be amazed how God becomes gracious in bestowing blessings and favors, abilities, skills, talents and gifts upon you. I can’t say that I am able to write good but by doing this, I am loving myself. It helps me to express myself. So whether people won’t like what I am writing or saying here, I will still do it because I love doing this. 🙂 I am God’s masterpiece. You are God’s masterpiece. It means you are His great art of work.

Ephesians 2:10 New Living Translations (NLT)

10 For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.

3. Nobody to Somebody 


I am 30 and during my younger years, negative thoughts like these empower me. It does happen to me still at times. I don’t like it. I do not want my heart be consumed with dirty things such us hatred, greed, anger, jealousy, frustrations, depressions and all. Everyone does not like them, of course. I do not want to live like that, so seeking the ONE who created us is the best way to know what is good and what is not, to have a knowledge between right and wrong. I am so thankful that the life God has given us everyday is a chance and challenge for ourselves to be better. To live a life with a purpose. You learn along the way, your journey of being Nobody to Somebody is not an easy journey yet it is fulfilling. I used to believe that I am just nobody and won’t be able to achieve great things.

Yes, if I have to compare my life to my college friends and batch mates, and define success as possessions and career growth, I would say I am nobody. In my previous posts, you would read how was my life  in 4 years living in Aruba. Click A part of my Story if you want to know. 🙂  But I would say I am Somebody now. I am not boasting about my life, honestly, I have nothing to boast about. At this age, I do not have a job everyone dreams, I don’t have a house or a car, I don’t have expensive clothes, I do not have gadgets that everyone wants. I don’t have money to eat to some fine dining restaurants, name them, I have nothing to boast but.. let me tell you, I have a job, not a good position but I have at least I have a job. I do not have my own house but I have people who treat me like their own family, besides from my father’s place, I still find home by those people who are nice to me. Gadgets? To tell you honestly, I didn’t spend a lot of money for my phone, laptop and ipad. They are almost free. Freely given to me. Restaurants, I can eat sushi which we all know are expensive. I ate at fine dining restaurants because of lovely people who invite me at times, again it’s free.

This how I call favor from the Lord. I don’t demand for things, God is showering His blessings to me. I am so blessed. Really. I don’t mind if other people look down on me. I am not explaining myself for the ones who think I have all together. I also experience things here huh! You just have to be content, love yourself and to be somebody. Somebody means, knowing your identity in Christ. When negative of this world strike you, remember who you are in Christ. You are accepted. A new creation, blessed, cherished, designed by God, favored, forgiven, saved, unique, you are loved and you are victorious. The Lord sees us so wonderful, you gotta believe you are. From that person whom I think Nobody, I have learned to embrace the love of God to be this Somebody, knowing my worth.

4. I am Egg! HAHA

Just like an egg mixed to other ingredients to bake a cake. I am like an egg, I used to like to be isolated, I cover myself with my shell. I don’t like to see the world for not being open minded and just believe what I want to believe. I do not want to open myself to anyone. I am okay being inside, comfortable. But I had to let someone break my shell for me to be useful and to live longer I guess (mabubugok ako e!). Breaking the shell could be painful for me, adjustments will happen because I’ve been living inside my shell for a long time. Time comes that I need to be put in a bowl and mixed with other ingredients. I am an egg, that is my purpose of living so I let myself mixed to others. In mixing process I need to blend in for the baker can create a perfect cake. Mixed and put in a pan. When ready, put in an oven to bake, you cannot make a cake if you won’t put the mixture in an oven. Inside the oven, the temperature would be so hot  but it is needed for a cake to be baked. As soon as you are ready, the sweet delicious aroma will spread the whole area. Just like when you pass a bakery, you smell the delicious cakes and breads. whooo 🙂 Dushi! And you are ready to be eaten.

I let God break me and release me from my shell. Shellfishness. Haha Selfishness. It is not always about myself, being comfortable, and not to see others needs.I have to give myself to be used and be useful. It does not give you satisfaction when you are alone inside your shell. You are made for something else that is why you are longing for that purpose for you to feel the satisfaction. He needed to break me so I can give myself away. When I say, “Okay, Lord have your way” I let the Baker do as he wish. It was not easy, it’s uncomfortable. “What? why do I have to mix myself to others? Why do I have to blend in? I can be alone.” “I don’t care about them. I will live my life on my own. Yeah. “self” where we can only think about ourselves all the time, what we want, what we feel, what makes us comfortable without desiring to see others needs or situations. That is the moment I go to see different and difficult people around me but still I have to accept them for who they are and blend in because they are also God’s creation with different function in the world just like me. I am not saying that you have to please everyone. The point is, God shows me that I am loved and little by little he also teach me how to love. I am not saying also that I love someone perfectly. Only God can do that. But Jesus inspires us to love others. Well in fact, the greatest commandments God gave us:

Matthew 22:36-40

36 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’[a] 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’

Loving yourself makes you love others. Loving others is loving God.

Fruits of the Spirit

The mixing process produces you with these characters that God wants us to learn. I am not saying I have them at all times. I am human. I am not perfect, I am so perfectly imperfect but I have a perfect God who loves me just the way I am and teach me how to live a life meaningful. His word is a guide for me to be in a right path. Sometimes I am in doubt to write things about this, I don’t want to let people feel uncomfortable by making them feel “I have the perfect life.” Of course not, again, I am not gonna boast about myself but I can boast about the ONE who helps me becoming like this. I still have things to learn, I know. Just like the saying “Experience is the best teacher and the worst experiences are the best lessons” In life, learning is unending cycle. Live to learn.

When the mixture is ready, I have to be put in the oven. Those are the times when you want to get out from it because it is painful, you feel like you can’t endure the temperature anymore. This stage could be the painful experiences in your life, dealing with difficult people, facing different tragedies in life, financial problems, broken hearts, broken lives etc., you feel like there will be no escape. There is a time for everything. Even the baker wants to get you from the oven, he still has to see if you are ready. I have to wait for the right time until I am really ready. Sometimes you really have to endure it the long time, but guess what? When you wait, the result will always be great. There is a blessing in waiting and obedience. When the Baker takes the cake out from the hot oven, he knows that you are ready. The aroma will spread out the place. You will see the smile from the Baker and from the people around you wanting you to be part of their lives. The praise will always goes to my Baker for making a good cake or bread. You are becoming a blessing. You make them happy. It is so fulfilling to see you are blessed to be a blessing.

Final Words

Life is short. We should learn how to be content and enjoy life. I will say it again, stop comparing yourself to others. While living on earth, do not waste your time on comparing yourself to others instead appreciate yourself. We are unique in our own way. Find things that make you happy. If you have a desire and dream deep down your heart and you still didn’t act with it, just do it. We are all learning. If you fail, its okay but never stop learning. Just like what I am doing, if writing makes me happy, even there are people that is better than me, I will keep doing this, I guess. HAHA. because I am becoming proud of myself for I used to have a low self esteem yet I am sharing my deepest thoughts now which help me seeing my worth. When you learn lessons from life, choose to be a blessing. There’s someone out there needs your story to be refreshed, encouraged and be reminded again. Share yours! Be a blessing!

If you are still reading this, thank you so much for your time. These are some of my great lessons in my 29ish living in this world. I still want and have to learn a lot of things. And may this be an encouragement to you. I would love to hear from you by writing on comment box. Yey! God bless you 🙂






Keep Calm You’re 29ish

Have you ever think to stop and start again? 🙂  I just turned 29ish yesterday. March 1, 2016, Tuesday. When someone ask my age, it’s kinda difficult to admit I am 30, so I better say 29ish. Okay? I am trying to calm down but really? Am I this old? I demand a recount. LOL.

CTO: Google Image

Hahaha. I really laughed when I see this. What happened? … LOL 🙂

I didn’t plan anything actually. I just wanted to stay home and have a birthday sleeping mode. My friend, Cherry, encouraged me to do something fun. It’s only once that I turn 30. True enough but for me “sleeping”is fun. haha I asked for a week vacation from work. It’s good to have rest like this. Thank God. So yeah, had to gather myself, relax and have fun!

How did I celebrate my 29ish:

  1. I cleaned my room (half cleaned haha)
  2. I washed my bed sheets.
  3. I stayed home with my cousin because everyone was at work.That is sweet of him special mention to Christopher Neil Grajo for going straight here after school. He accompanied me.
  4. My brother took a half day off, well actually I was not the reason, he had to fix some documents. But then I am happy he came home early. Yey! May kalaro na ako.
  5. Papa arrived in the afternoon, nice way to spend your birthday with the family
  6. Decided to eat dinner out with relatives and friends, Papa and Tita Blessie couldn’t join because Papa was not feeling well. But he gave me his gift. 🙂
  7. Had fun at Peanuts Restaurant with them

Busog na busog na ako halata sa tyan. Patawad HAHA

with my fiance and mother in law to be 🙂

Tito Mommy Miles and Tito Daddy Emong , Tita Janet


Sige Birthday nyo? Kayo na malaki image. Sila yun walang sawang mang asar sa akin pero kami tatlo lage magkakasama, I am their Princess. kaya nga wala ako dyan. I am their favorite pag dating sa bully-han 🙂 I love you men! My cousin and brother.


I woke up early in the morning, heard my phone beeping continuously. So I checked it and yeah it’s March 1, people are giving their greetings, encouragements and prayers posting on my Facebook Timeline. One of them is a blog greeting surprise for me made by my sister Queen. I remember making her one last year. I interviewed her friends for some silly and serious questions about her. She did it to me this time. How sweet! 🙂 I am blessed to have her and the people participated. Thank you so much. I feel so loved

She asked three questions:

  1. Who is Yhang to you ? (Yhang is my nickname)
  2. What is/are unforgettable moments or experience with her
  3. Birthday Messages/Prayers for her

Click if you want to know more : Birthday Messages from Friends and Family created by Ate Queen. Sweet 🙂 Thank you so much for the effort and love, people. I can’t mention names one by one but I am really grateful for all the greetings! God bless you all!

February 29 and March 1 are my birthdays. 🙂 Philippine time and Aruba time. My first greeter made me cry at first.


Four reasons I cried after reading this:

  1. Ang hirap basahin. Hindi na ako marunong magbasa ng short texts, Jejemon ka sis. LOL
  2. I wanted to hug you and everyone over there but I can’t, I am too far. But I whispered to God to embrace you all for me. I love you!
  3. The surprise. It was very touching, though I know you all making that for me, I knew it, you guys were so busy na naseenzoned lang ang beauty ko 🙂
  4. My scrapbook materials kept in the baul for 4 and half years. Haha You guys used my materials for the surprise. Funny! It’s okay, I really appreciate the effort 🙂 I am excited! I would surely love it!

My day was already made by the touching messages and revelation from the people close to my heart in the morning. I grabbed my journal and start to write. Thanking God for all the blessings. Its not money or material things but it was a very great gift. God made me feel I am so much loved by Him by giving me those people in my life. Nakakaiyak malaman na naiiyak at namimiss nila ang old times with me. Thank you God for their friendship and love. I feel so blessed and loved, really. Ang sarap sarap nilang basahin. 🙂  Thank you to my sister, dalawin nyo sya, follow din Queen’s WordPress Blogsite. I really really like them, you know? I had so much tears and laugh while reading them. Thank you for everything. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH 🙂 Panalo sa effort te. Pak na pak. I feel loved.

Only One Regret : Yesterday, I could have gone to Starbucks. If it’s your birthday, you do not need to pay anything. It’s free! 🙂 Here in Aruba, it’s free. I do not know with other countries. I was already tired and full from the dinner so we all went home 🙂 I will have to wait another year to have a free Starbucks. Haha Now I want it. Grrr.

To my Facebook friends, thank you so much for the greetings. I appreciate you all. May God bless you abundantly. 🙂

This year is my year! Yey 🙂 On my next blog, I will be writing about My Thoughts on Turning 30. Thank you for reading. I know I am not that good blogger, but I have to do this because I love doing this, it helps me express myself through writing. So, even I am not that well (yet) please bare with me. Let me enjoying blogging. No bashers please. 🙂  Cheers!

I am craving now. this is what I ordered yesterday at Peanuts Restaurant:Fish Chicharon

20160301_210412 (1)

Pahabol: I love him, I carried him when he was a baby, I did it again on my 30th.

My brother King 🙂

Family. My inspiration. I love you all


Ako na ang latak! haha my Queen and King 🙂

My Grandmothers. I really miss them. Tears 😦 Thank you Mama Esther and Lola Nena

Me! Small and looked terrible 🙂 haha


Princess at 29ish . Happy Birthday to me! Thank you Jesus for another year. 🙂

Tell me now, do I look 29ish?

Isang Araw, ako ay nagpost sa Fb…

Kahit gaano kadami ang mabuting ginawa mo sa mga tao, sa isang maliit na pagkakamali lahat yun makakalimutan. Tanging ang mali lang ang makikita. Ganun talaga.

Kahit nga totoo ka sa mga tao, marami sa kanila hindi totoo sa pakikitungo sayo. Mabait sila pag nakaharap ka pag nakatalikod na, iba na. Against na sila sayo. Ganun talaga.

May mga tao din na kahit ganu ka nagpapakita ng kabaitan sa kanila, sa di maipaliwanag na dahilan, galit sila sayo. Ayaw nila sayo kahit wala ka naman ginagawang masama sa kanila. Ganun nga talaga siguro

Iba iba pang karumihan at dungis ang makikita sa paligid, sa mundo. Kung titignan mo ang lahat ng to, nakakapagod nakaka asar. Nakakapanghina at nakakaloka. Sa iba dedma lang. Ganun talaga! Iisipin mo wala na talagang mabuti sa mundo. Wala na nga ba talaga?

Kahit nga sa pag-ibig. Marami ng hindi naniniwala may totoo pa rin naman. Takot na umibig ulit mga taong minsan ng nasaktan sa paniniwalang mauulit ulit ang nakaraan. Mga taong hindi na susubok magmahal dahil sa paniniwalang ang lahat ay tulad din ng iba. Walang forever…Iiwan ka din sasaktan ka din. Walang happy ending.

Ano ang tugon mo dito?

Kahit na hindi ka nila iappreciate,gumawa ka ng mabuti. Kahit ayaw nila sayo, ramdam mo, gustuhin mo nalang sila. Kahit hindi sila totoo, maging totoo ka nalang. Ganun talaga. At least, ikaw, sa sarili mo, sa puso mo. Totoo kang nagmamahal. Totoo ang pinapakita mo. Magmahal.. Love is always the answer.

Masakit oo kapag naging totoo ka sa tao pero ang balik ay maskara lang. Hindi totoo. Peke. Pero ganun talaga e! Be good anyways. Love anyways. Ang hirap diba?

We are made for love.
Kung paano ang magmahal ng tunay? Tumingin ka SA Kanya. God’s
Love is wonderful, real, amazing, unconditional and everlasting. The more you seek him, the more you will find him, the more you find him the more you love him. The more of Jesus in your life the more you will see the beauty of life and the more you will love the people unconditionally. You will love this life kahit na messy, puno ng gulo, crimes at kung anu ano pa..Dahil in the midst of this all,when you know God is with you, You are peaceful. Hindi mabibili ng pera..hindi sa magandang posisyon sa buhay, hindi sa gadgets o sa mamahaling damit or gamit makukuha ang peace at happiness and joy. Puwede ka magkaron ng lahat ng to. Walang masama. Pagpalain ka pa ang aking dalangin. Pero kung wala si God sa lahat ng to. “I am nothing. I am nothing!” tugon ko. You are nothing.

Bakit ko ba sinasabi ito? Hindi ko rin alam. I just found myself typing and saying these words. Sa mundong ito, makikita mo lahat ng uri ng kasamaan,mga sakit at sakuna. Mga paniniwalang hindi mo alam saan ang direksyon. Mga relihiyon nagsasabi na sila ay tama. Sino nga ba talaga ang tma?

Lahat may karumihan. Lahat. Pati ako! Pero kung titingin ka kay Jesus… maganda. Its so good to gaze in His beauty, His word that corrects you and rebukes you, made not to simply hurt you but to make you a better person and be in a right path. Truth hurts. But it will set you free.

Makuha mo man ang ganda at yaman sa mundo kung wala si Kristo sa buhay mo may kulang. Tanging sya lang pupuno sa kakulangan na meron ka. When you have Jesus, you have everything. Emptiness, he will fill it. The question is? Are you willing? It is up to you.

Wala sa akin ang sagot. Wala sa kahit kanino man. Wala sa relihiyon ko o relihiyon ng iba. Nasa Diyos. Na kay Jesus. Pray. Read His Word. Seek Him and you will find him. Do not just believe on what people say. Take time to listen to His voice. Take time to know God, to know Jesus. He is the answer.

Posted: February 20, 2016


Ito ay isa sa mga posts ko. Wala lang naisip ko lang post din dito. Namiss ko dito e. Lage nasa isip ko ang magsulat pero may mga hadlang na hindi maipaliwanag. Kapag na figure out ko na kung anu-ano yun, will soon share them for sure. Pero kung ikaw ay nakakaramdam ng nararamdaman ko, email mo ko. Kaibigan, usap tayo! 🙂 Ang gulo ko no?

Salamat kung ikaw ay nagbabasa, naappreciate ko po talaga! God bless you abundantly! 🙂


2015 Accomplishments

2015 is almost over. December is usually the month where I review and recall how the year went. This is the month where I started to think for the next year goals and prayers. I looked back on my journal and highlighted goals I achieved. It’s not much but at least I accomplished something. Yey! 🙂

2015 Goals & Prayers -(Achieved/Answered)

  1. Get a New Job (with Permit)

As an Overseas Filipino Worker (OFW), it is necessary that you get a job with working permit so you can stay legally. There are Filipinos risk themselves working without paper. Well, I am afraid to be caught by immigration if I would risk myself working outside. Outside, like restaurants, stores or hotels.So I was working inside, in a house, a maid. I can’t believe I am sharing this here. To be honest, I didn’t mind the job at first until I was told not to tell anyone. But why? Being a maid is not a crime, it is still a job. Even graduate students chose to be maid, bravely leaving their love ones for a belief of a better life. I could have tried to apply to other job here but as a Christian I do not think it is right not to comply on their rules. Here in Aruba, you have to have at least 5 permits so you can be signed by another establishments without any hassles. Whether you have a degree or not, living in other country, being fussy about job won’t work. I wrote this goal the first, why? My last 3 year contract job was horrible. I had sleepless nights, my emotions were so tired, physically and mentally exhausted, I was wasted. I couldn’t wait to finish the contract. I do not want to sound gossiping about my former boss but the effect on my personality was awful. I didn’t know who I am and what I can do anymore. Self-pity and low self esteem overwhelm my whole being. Nights that I was just in the corner of my room, sitting down, elbows on my knees, hands covering my face, seemed to break down. I couldn’t express my real self. I wanted to go back home in Philippines but because of my family, my family.. my family.. Oh my God! haha (Bb Pilipinas 2008 Janina. 🙂 Kaway if you get it!) I couldn’t. I had to be strong for myself and for them. It was tough, really…

I still work in a house now but with new employers. Yey. And they are really  nice people. I don’t feel a worker, they treat me like I am part of the family. I really thank God for this job and for extended family. It is not a good position for others, but for me, I came to realize, I am really blessed to have this job. Can you imagine, I am a maid but I can eat sushi frequently? 🙂 Dushi (Delicious or Sweetheart in their language) for free most of the time. I can eat on fine dining restaurants for free. I can stay in a hotel for a week, free. Not only that, I really feel free! Words are not enough to express how I felt the moment I left my former employers. It’s like I was in a jail for years and the moment I stepped outside, an indescribable feeling I felt, I just cried and whispered “I am free”. Boom! Freedom Indeed! I was jobless for a month until a door of opportunity opened. This new family I am working with is far  different from the previous. They are one of the best family I’ve ever met. Oh God, they are really nice! I am starting to develop my personality again. I know, this may sound dramatic but my past experience was a trauma for me!

I am currently holding the 4th permit, it is annually renewed. One more to go and I will be spreading my wings and fly! Patience is a Virtue. If I had the patience for the past 4 years, I would have, for more years, as long as God is showing me His grace and mercy everyday. He is the source of my strength, my joy, my peace and love. Thank God for the long patience and for experiences that made me closer to Him.

I left them January with the braveness I didn’t know where I got. Not to boast, but I was their first employee endured the 3 year contract. No doubt, I know exactly why they left without any advise. They ran away. I still tried to have a nice goodbye to them but as usual they try to scare me with threats like ‘We will call the immigration office to get you’, ‘You can’t find a job’,’No one will accept you’, etc. my previous employers said. Nevertheless, here’s what I held on “What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? Romans 8:31. My prayer was answered February, got a new job with permit. Ang bilis diba? 🙂 

2. See Jesus


It was Sunday, March 01, 2015. My hands were raised up, tears were falling from my closed eyes, seeking Him, gazing in His beauty, pouring out my heart to Him, thanking and worshiping my King, my God, Jesus.

Am I weird to ask I want to literally see him? Jesus reveals himself in different ways, it’s always special and in an intimate way. I can see him through reading his Word, prayers and fasting. In every situation, he can manifest Himself. He is good, I know that well. But I actually did ask him to show me his face like literally.

The congregation were singing:

Our Father in Heaven

Hollowed be your name

Your kingdom come quickly

Your will be done the same

On earth as it is in heaven

Let heaven come to earth as it is

In heaven, let heaven come

For a deep reason, my heart was stirred and I was crying. Thinking all of his goodness in my life, I want him more, I want more of Him. Experiencing trials in this life, makes me wanna go home to my real house. He is the shelter and the refuge, my strength. I want him, I want more of Him. My heart was full of his presence. I could feel them. I really felt home as I started to worship Him. No worries, I just have the joy being in His presence. That is life for me.

Yours is the kingdom 

Yours is the power 

Yours is the glory 

forever Amen

I didn’t mind how I look that moment, I just want to worship and see Him. Grateful I am, I lifted my hands higher as I could, elevating His name higher. He deserved that, more than my hands and arms, more than my worship, He deserved to be adored. He deserved the praises from his people. He wants to see us loving him. 🙂

The next song was about to sing. As the guitarist strummed, I noticed something, I was seeing vision.

Drenta Den Mi Cas

Manera Zakeo lo mi ke subi             

Mas halto ku mi por

Mi ke mira bo anhela pa bo so

I hala bo atenshon pa mi

Mi tin Mister di bo Senor

Mi tin Mister di bo mi Tata

Mi ta chikitu misa duna mi bo pas

Mi ke laga tur kos atras

Drenta den mi cas drenta den mi bida 

Cambia tur mi struktura

Sana tur mi heridanan

Sinia mi di bo santidat

Mi ke stima abo so

Pasobra bo ta mi gran amor

Hasi un milager den mi

English translation:

Like Zaccheus, I’d like to climb as high as I can. I want to see you, long for you only and turn your attention to me. I need you Lord. I need you my Father. I am small, I know, but great are you. I want to leave everything behind. Enter in my house. Enter in my life. Change my whole structure, heal all my wounds. Teach me your holiness. I want to love you alone, because you are my great love. Do a miracle in me.

I couldn’t believe at first. He was wearing white, radiantly illuminates the place. It was him and me alone in that place. It was blurry at first and it becomes clear. I saw his smile. I remember as the worship time started, all in my mind was “God I want to see you” He was coming over me, my mind was in doubt, “hmm..its just a thought” I was stunned by His holiness. But at that moment I was silent, looking at him, I wanted him to get closer, more closer. I wanted to embrace him. I was full of joy. In my heart I prayed “Lord if this is you, if this is real or not, thank you because I am home, I feel home, the peace that I wanted for years, now I can rest in you, I can finally see you” I didn’t want to end. His eyes were talking to me, he was staring at me like I am the most beautiful person in the world. I can’t express this in words. All I know it was his joy, it was him telling me “Yhang, I love you” White fluids kept falling from small eyes, forget about my eyeliner, I didn’t mind, I couldn’t control the tears of joy. My heart was full of endearment, though words I couldn’t hear but I felt it. I am loved.

The worship time through music ended. Word of God exhorted. Still in amazement. I was astonished, it kept popping in my head but I managed to listen to the preacher. The service was about to end when Pastor mentioned my name and asked me to go on stage. That day was my birthday. He started to pray and as if God is directly talking to me. I know it was a confirmation that he was the one I saw. “You’ve been longing to see me, I am revealing myself to you. When you worship me, you will see ME. I will use you mightily, when you open your mouth and heart and worship, you will release my message to people, there will be healing and deliverance. Keep seeking Me, I want you to know that I love you” says the Lord, Pastor said. Amen.

Sobbed. “I Love you” These words he wanted to confirmed. Through vision, where I was still in doubt, he used a person to tell me his message straight to me. He was the one I saw. He confirmed that through Pastor’s prayer. It is true, that whenever I worship Him, I feel different. It was not me. It was him who is working through me. As a worship leader in our church, I honestly sometimes tired of leading when you see the members not engaging. What on earth are they doing at church? Why aren’t they worshiping? Why are they so numb. Isn’t he faithful to their lives? I think every worship leader can relate to what I am trying to say here. They usually stare at you as if telling you “what the heck are u singing, you better stop” haha 🙂 and you feel that you are not good enough, this is not your calling and just quit. There were times, that I just want the ground to be opened and be eaten down. Shame. But as time went by, one thing I’d learned that worship is not about the people. Do not mind how they worship, you start to give reverence to your Creator and keep your heart poured out to God, he will spill his presence to you and freely overflow to the people around you through you. Worship leading is not about singing and people, it is about Jesus. Focus your eyes on Him. He is so beautiful and wonderful.

This was the greatest and wonderful birthday gift I’ve ever receive in my 29 years of living in this crazy world. 🙂

3. Learn How to Play Keyboard/Piano

Achieved. I know now the basic and I can play and sing. I wanted to learn this to accompany my singing. Worshiping Him everyday is always the best feeling. It is my escape. When troubles come, I worship. When I am happy, I worship. When I am mad, I worship, When homesickness strikes in, I worship. This is where I belong, my hiding place, in God’s presence. Thank you keyboard for accompanying my year!

Out of 11 Goals, 3 were attained. The others are half way answered and others simply will go and added for the next year goals.

  1. Driving License – x
  2. Save Money – I only have 200dollars at the moment. Lol Proud! Hirap kaya mag ipon. Labas kasi lahat. Alam na ni Lord yun. 🙂 Lets start again!
  3. Read or at least finish Old Testament – I am still at 2nd Samuel. Shame. haha 🙂 But I do read Bible and devotionals. I was just planning to read from Genesis.
  4. Read 50-100 Novels – Nakakahiya 10 lang! 😦 Busy! Dahilan pa!
  5. Speak/Learn Papiamento– still basic
  6. Apply for US Visa – x
  7. Know your spiritual gifts and use them– I kind of know mine but there were days I was procrastinating. I didn’t use them well. One of them is teaching. I handle a tambourine dance for kids. I also minister to them, I don’t only teach them the tambourine patterns but trying to lead them to Jesus, let them know how good and faithful God is in their lives, how he loves them and remind them from time to time to check their motives, it is the heart towards God matters most. Walang yabang!
  8. Memorize verses from the Bible– Mahina ako dyan! 🙂 10? LOL

Now, I come to see this, I realized that I didn’t ask for material things that much. E di wow! I just noticed. But I still feel fulfilled. Through out the year, God has been faithful to me. I couldn’t ask for more. Experiencing His love is the best. I have desires and prayers, yes, but at the end of the day, at the end of the year literally, I still want him. His presence is life to me. It completes me. I know I can face my tomorrow with confidence because He is God, I might change many times, I might fail always, but His love will remain and his grace will amazingly given. He will remain God, who is forever faithful. What a mighty God I serve! Yey! 🙂

Thank you and Goodbye 2015! Happy New Year 2016! I am ready to face you. I am excited! 🙂 Have you written down your new year goals?

May you all have a successful 2016! 🙂 Blessings!!!


Featured Image: CTTO (google image)