Category Archives: Random Thoughts

DAy 6: Pet Peeves

Top 5 Pet Peeves

Okay, let me be honest with you. I am not that good in vocabulary. I am still learning and I am not afraid to say it. HAHA So, I googled it:

Pet Peeve
noun INFORMAL
plural noun: pet peeves
something that a particular person finds especially annoying.

1. Show-Off

This really irritates me. Especially nowadays on Social Media. I don’t like when people post about how good their life is. Don’t get me wrong. I am not insecure and jealous about their lives. I am not against about social media posting. Everyone is free to do that. I love seeing good stuff also from my friends and family, their success and achievements. I would really be happy for them.

But what annoys me is when you post with the feeling “I am all that” Like.. there is one time I saw a post where she posted every single branded item she has, with the captions telling everyone how great her life is. I am happy for her if she has a good life, I mean it, but I don’t think it is necessary to post expensive material things. Again, I don’t want to look like I am jealous or insecure. To be honest, God blessed me with things I couldn’t afford, they are gifts and presents. I am thankful and content.

But I just find it annoying when people are showing off.

But then again, I don’t know who they are, their experiences and past, so who am I to judge them? right? So yeah. Post whatever you want. In the first place, it’s your life. It’s your call. Let’s live in peace! HAHA

2. Being Controversial on Social Media

Posting negative talks about someone else just for you to look great is really annoying to me. Like.. really! You don’t have to post your disappointment with your partner, husband, wife family or whoever. Talk with them, dang it!

Just to get sympathy from others? NO!

Let me tell you this! If you have a problem with your husband/wife boyfriend/girlfriend, Please be matured enough to talk with them privately. You don’t do that on social media. You don’t tell everyone how miserable your partner is and how good you are. It annoys me so much. For real. You’re just embarrassing yourself.

Like for example, now you guys are not okay, after telling people the negatives and then after few days, you guys are sweet? Really? and then REPEAT.

But then again, I don’t know the reason why people are being like that. There’s always a story behind our behavior and personality. So, I choose not to judge.

3. You’re always Right

People who made mistakes, obviously and still don’t want to accept correction is WOW! They always have the reason why they are right. This irritates me.

But I will just shut up, back off! You’re always right. Enjoy!

4. People who says LOL but not laughing out loud.

5. People who cross the street like a model.

Omg! Be considerate, the driver gave you a chance to cross, please walk fast!

30 Day Blog Challenge

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Just Pause for a While

I was in the car, a song in the radio was playing and I realized something.

“Sometimes you just have to pause for a while and listen to what God is telling you.”

And you realized that life isn’t about us. It’s truly all about Him. I still remember the days way back in the Philippines 🇵🇭 where I was so into knowing Him more, wanting to go deeper and deeper. Like I don’t care about anything else, just “give me Jesus”

I was passionate in serving Him. All I care is doing what He wants me to do. I do care for people to know Him and experience the love of God. But it’s different, now. I admit. People nowadays are so busy in their lives -job, career, love life, business, studies etc. Oh wait!…plus social media.

It does take over our lives. Pre-occupied with so many things and sadly, we don’t think about Him all the time. Ouch!

We have to pause and go back to your first love. The song lyric says

“… You can have all in this world, just give me Jesus”

I miss HIM. And I miss myself going deep to His presence. I longed for it everyday. I remember when I used to sing praises to Him, worship Him every single day. The best place I’ve ever been – in HIS presence. Where there is no doubt and fear there, only joy and peace and LOVE. That’s where we supposed to be. Even in the midst of darkness, being with HIM is just wonderful.

God never leaves us, that’s the truth. The challenge is.. to make room for HIM, to give time for Him no matter how busy we are. 

It is important to pause for a while and think about our priorities. Life on earth is just short, we are just passing by.  This is not our home. Make room for what is important, know HIM deeper. 

Just one of my favorite worship songs say “The more I seek you, the more I find you. The more I find you, the more I love you”

God’s love is the best LOVE among any other love in this world. So, loving HIM is the best decision we could ever make. 

Pause and think about HIM. HE thinks about us all the time.

O God! I just miss you. I apologize for not making you my priority. I will make it up to you. Thank you for being patient with me.

I’m back

Depression isn’t easy.

I remember the days when I used to suffer from it. I had symptoms but no one notices, I had a smile on my face every time they see me but they didn’t know I was dying inside. I had attempts and thoughts of ending my….. I don’t even want to say it… suicide. Oh well! What is it to be shy about? People judges you, they know you are a Christian and they thought you can’t experience such things. But let me tell you this, Christians are humans. No matter how we try to do God’s will in our lives, we all have seasons and situations. We have feelings, we struggle too. Maybe the only difference is… we admit that we need JESUS. Whether you are a believer or not, we do all struggle.

God healed me. It took me long years. Yes, long years. Since I arrived here in Aruba, my life changed. I had to face the changes instantly. And I think I am one of the people who can’t just adopt quickly. I have to take my time, people shouldn’t force me. What happened is… people compare their situation to mine. That just because they experience the same hardship, I should also, adopt it quickly. Honestly, it was not easy for me but I tried and I kept moving.

There were times when I just simply want to go back to my own country, but I had to ask God if that’s what He also wants. I grew up with the heart wanting to do what God wants in my life. I failed Him many times and that’s just part of my journey. I learned from my disobedience and stubbornness. But I do believe in Him. He knows what He is doing and He is so good at it. Sometimes we don’t understand His plans are, but we just have to trust that He loves us.

The more I asked him “Why”? Why am I still here?” the more I experienced difficulties during those years. Depression kicks in. I wanted to do my own way, I wanted to control what’s going to happen in my life. I wanted things to happen the way I pictured them. But didn’t happen at all. I started to look down on myself, I have begun to hate myself, unknowingly I am hurting other people too. My behavior changed. And even I tried to look at good things at myself and at others, I failed and ended up becoming negative and isolating myself to others even to those who love me as I am. People didn’t see that. But I noticed it. I didn’t like it. I don’t like to dislike people just because they didn’t match to my personality.

To make it short, I got up and tried to rise up again. It’s a process. I had to make a planner list down I have to do the whole day so I can stay productive. Because when you’re depressed, you don’t want to do anything. You work but just because you need to but your heart isn’t there, your mind isn’t there. You only think about the negatives. You cry so much over nothing. You got mad over nothing. There is no life.

Reading the WORD, having quiet time and worshiping HIm even I was hurting was my ways of dealing with it. I ran to the ONE who created me. I ran to the ONE who writes down my story. He knows how to handle it. He knows me from the inside out. I do not have to worry because even I look at myself weak, even I look down on myself, He sees me beautiful, He sees me righteous and lovely. He never judges me. He loves me. That’s the truth. I clung to that. I held on to that.

Do not get me wrong for saying I look down on myself. People will say, you shouldn’t because God created you. He made you wonderfully and beautifully. Some will ask “Don’t you believe that?” You should, because you are a Christian. And I will say it again, I am human and I can still feel any feelings such as sadness, anger, frustrations, and depression. What I believe — we all have different situations and if we let Him mold us during the process, you will get out from it stronger. And the more you will know that HE is real. When you can’t do anything but trust Him. People will judge you and won’t understand what you are going through, but HIM. He knows everything and He knows me so well.

Everything happens for a reason and that is a truth.

If I will look back now, all I can say is “Thank you, Lord” If it wasn’t for Him, I don’t know where I am now. And I won’t be ashamed to tell my story and reveals God’s glory.

When I say I am back, it doesn’t only mean that I am back here in blogging, but literally, the one who I used to be is back. I met new people in my life and I am glad I could share my days, my thoughts, my heart to them. I got married to the man God made just for me. I got a new job, and I am blessed. Dreams, visions, and plans are active. I finally know what I want to do with my life, to keep living my purpose. I don’t look down on myself. I held to my identity in Christ. Even people will look down on me, I will get hurt but I get up believing that I am not who the people say I am. I am who God says I am. Every day is a challenge but I wake up hopeful, trusting that God is in control.

I still feel afraid sometimes, I am not perfect. But… God’s love gives me confidence. And I am forever grateful.

If you are experiencing depression, find help. You can also talk to me, I will not tell you what to do but to patiently listen. People who are depressed need people who know how to listen. The first step in overcoming depression is to believe that you are not alone.

Thank you for still reading up to this point. I appreciate it!

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Are you a Good Servant?

Hello there! I hope everyone is doing well.

I am inspired to write something about the sermon tonight at worship service.

Our pastor mentioned three essential qualities or characteristics of a good servant of God:

  1. Sacrifice.

Boom! First big word – Sacrifice.

The first thing that comes in mind whenever I hear this word is killing. Okay, wait? Not really. Dying might be the word. It’s offering someone or something valuable to us in exchange for something worthy and important. It could be our time, people, something we really want or value the most.

“Are you willing to give up your life, your profession to serve God?”he asked.

Jesus sacrificed Himself for us.

Christ encourages you, and his love comforts you. God’s Spirit unites you, and you are concerned for others. Now make me completely happy! Live in harmony by showing love for each other. Be united in what you think, as if you were only one person. Don’t be jealous or proud, but be humble and consider others more important than yourselves. Care about them as much as you care about yourselves and think the same way that Christ Jesus thought:

Christ was truly God.
But he did not try to remain
    equal with God.
Instead he gave up everything
    and became a slave,
when he became
    like one of us.

Christ was humble.
He obeyed God
and even died
    on a cross.
Then God gave Christ
    the highest place
and honored his name
    above all others.

So at the name of Jesus
    everyone will bow down,
those in heaven, on earth,
    and under the earth.
And to the glory
    of God the Father
everyone will openly agree,
    “Jesus Christ is Lord!”

Hebrews 10:5-10

It is just simply amazing to think and realize how important we are in His sight. A GOD, a Master who is mindful of us. Jesus let go of His privilege, His glory in Heaven for you and me.

Our pastor encourages us not to be double minded. If you choose God, serve Him only. Go back to the origin in serving God. Deny yourself for Him. “ME” shouldn’t exist anymore. It’s all about Him.

2. Humility

He made Himself nothing.

Christ was humble.
He obeyed God
and even died
    on a cross.

Philippians 2:8

“Our pride is a hindrance to our service to God. Humble yourself to Him. Swallowing our pride is a sign of maturity.”

In fact, God treats us with even greater kindness, just as the Scriptures say,

“God opposes everyone
    who is proud,
but he is kind to everyone
    who is humble.”

James 4:6

3. Obedient

“Obedience is better than sacrifice”

“Tell me,” Samuel said. “Does the Lord really want sacrifices and offerings? No! He doesn’t want your sacrifices. He wants you to obey him.

1 Samuel 15: 22

Obey your parents – Read Proverbs 6:20

And this is love: that we walk in obedience to his commands. As you have heard from the beginning, his command is that you walk in love.

2 John 1:6

In John 10:27 : “My sheep know my voice, and I know them. They follow Me”

Personal thoughts:

Serving God is not a burden. Sometimes we spend more time on other things than listening to His voice. We don’t read His word where all the love and truth we are looking for is written. We browse Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter and all those time-consuming social media and sites instead of reading and meditating His word. We listen to heart breaking songs instead of worship songs. We don’t want to go to church because we have something ‘fun’ or ‘important’ to do than giving  HIm thanks and fellowshipping with our brothers and sisters in Christ. We don’t give our tithes and offering because we’re always short financially. While he gave us everything. Everything we need. 

If you will look around you, everyone is busy. Trying to achieve that heights of success. I wonder how God feels. Of course, He is happy if we have achievements, when we reach our goals. I am sure He celebrates with us during those times. But I wonder how God feels., when we don’t include him in our success? I am even hurting now thinking about it. I am not him but when I think about it, If I were him, it must be really painful.

The God who gave up everything just to save us, a Father who gave His only Son for the sins of many, the one who never stops loving us even though we don’t think about him as we should. The One who remains faithful even when we are unfaithful. The God who still sees you as beautiful even when you can’t see yourself as He sees you, a Friend who you can rely on, who can comfort you. He is the same GOD we sometimes or always set aside. An option.

It breaks my heart writing all these words. Do not get me wrong. I am not writing this to judge you or condemn you. I am also still under construction, letting God mold me, correct me, rebuke me and be that person He wants me to be. But let this be a reminder that God is still waiting for you, for me. It’s not too late to begin again. 

Forget about yourself, your status, your position and we can look at ourselves as fairly loved by the one true God, our Father in Heaven. As we keep going, seeking to prioritize Him, remind yourself that God is looking for humble people in His service. He wants our humility. To empty ourselves so we could be filled by Him. When we begin to be His follower, be aware of this and be reminded that Lucifer was a great worshiper. He was deceived by his own self. He thought that he can be as powerful as God. Let’s try our best not to be our old selves – who want to be always right, not wanting to be rebuked but instead wanting to be lifted up. God sees everything. Do everything in love and humility.

Obedience matters in our Christian life. And it is better than sacrifice. He accepts our offerings but God looks to our hearts. He is looking for the ones who follow His command. I like the last verse, John 10:27. “My sheep know my voice, and I know them. They follow Me.”

I want to be one of those who know His voice, the one who follows Him even if sometimes I do not understand why, just simply obey and trust His way. 

A good servant is someone who is willing to sacrifice something or someone in exchange for God”s presence, the one who humbled Himself to serve others. A good servant is obedient no matter what it takes, no matter the situation, throughout every season in life – good or bad, happy or sad. Someone who will still stand and say, “I love you, Lord”

Jesus is the best example of a good servant. He came to the world not to be served but to serve. Follow Him wholeheartedly.

God bless you.

Tumitingin ka kasi sa iba, Tingin ka sa Sarili mo.

Kaya tayo nahihirapan makita ang kakayanan natin kasi nakatingin tayo sa iba. Nakatingin tayo sa kung ano meron sila na maganda na wala ka. “Bakit sya ganun?” Bakit may ganun sya ako wala” “Bakit sya nagagawa nya yun, bakit ako hindi” “Buti pa sya..”

Insecurities. Low self-esteem.

Napaisip ako at habang patuloy na nagpapakita ng revelations si Lord sa akin. Binulong nya sa akin “Tumitingin ka kasi sa iba, Tingin ka kasi sa sarili mo.”

Do not get me wrong. Masaya ako sa kasiyahan at success ng iba. Masaya akong makita kapag may mga blessings ang iba, patunay na napakabuti ng Dios hindi lang sa akin kundi sa lahat. May mga panahon lang talga nang dahil sa mga circumstances sa buhay, hindi ko maiwasang magtanong kung bakit naging ganito ako sa sarili ko. Masyado ko ba nilaglag, ganern bes! Ang baba e, to the lowest level, pabagsak na ko nun e.

Unti unti pinakita sakin ni Lord ang mga kalakasan ko. Nung mga panahon na na-depress ako, syempre, hindi mo talaga makita na capable ka. Lahat negative. Ang pangit. Hindi maganda ang depression. Hindi sya nakakatuwa. Nakakaloka sya, literally. Pero tinulungan at tinuturuan ako ni Lord how to deal with it. Nagbasa ako ng mga motivational books, mga personality development, spiritual and inspirational books. Nagexercise ako atbp.

I do not compare my life to others in a negative way. Naniniwala ako na iba iba talaga tayo ng destinasyon sa buhay, iba iba ang nararanasan at tinatahak natin. Nasa sa atin na kung paano natin harapin at iba’t ibang challenges na meron tayo. Kung paano tayo maging grateful and content.

Dumating lang talaga sa point ng buhay ko na ayaw ko na. Wala na! Hindi ko na gusto gumalaw at sumubok ulit. Ayaw ko na harapin yun kaba at takot. Tapos nakatingin lang ako sa iba na nakakatuwa na nagagawa nila mga yun habang binaba ko ang sarili ko, kelan kaya ako? Ang tanong ko.

“Tumitingin ka kasi sa iba, tingin ka sa sarili mo”

I know God wants me to look at Him all the time. That’s the only way I could survive pero gusto ipa-alala sa akin ni Lord na tumingin ako sa sarili ko kung paano nya ako nilikhang kahanga-hanga! O diba?

Kaya nagumpisa ako tignan mga kaya kong gawin, mga bagay na magaling ako, mga talento na binigay sa akin. Andyan na e, andito lang sya, kung bakit hindi ko mailabas at hindi ko makita kasi naging busy ako tumingin sa iba. Naging busy ako sa liwanag ng iba habang ang ilaw ko napundi na.

Hindi masamang mahalin ang sarili. Naniniwala nga ako na dapat matutunan mo muna talagang mahalin ang sarili bago masabing kaya mo na magmahal ng iba. Hindi pagiging selfish ang pagtanggap at pagmamahal sa sarili. Self-love ang tawag dun.

We all know and heard about how God created us uniquely, fearfully and wonderfully. But sometimes we are busy looking at others strength that we don’t have time to look how awesome we are. He made us. Hindi sya nagkamali na nilikha nya tayo. Hindi sya nagkamaling ibigay yung mga kakayanan natin. Na sa atin na e. Ilabas na lang!

Express na bes!

Kung iisa isahin natin ang strengths, abilities na binigay sa atin ni Lord at ititigil na natin ang mga negatibong paniniwala sa sarili, madami tayo ma-achieve, malayo mararating natin. Hindi ko sinasabing maging mayabang na tayo kasi puro sarili ang sinasabi ko dito. Ang point ko, kung isa ka sa mga tao na mahilig at nageenjoy na mag nega thoughts, parang ako, gising gising din tayo! Marami tayong magagawang maganda at dakila. Tingin ka sa sarili mo at maniwala ka na kaya mo.

Kaya ko din. ❤️🙏 So help me, God!

But wait, let me take a selfie!

Maniwala ka sa iyong angking ganda at talino 😂

Thank you so much sa pagbabasa. ❤️

-Princess

Morning Hugs and Laugh and Coffee

CTTO: Google image

“Good morning, ate Princess”

(“A-te” a Tagalog word means older sister)

He goes straight to my bedroom and gives me hug. A tight hug.

“You smell so good.” He loves smelling me. I think it’s a new scent for him. He smelled his daddy and mommy and compare my smell from them. “You guys smell good but ate Princess’ smell is great” 😂

I don’t use any perfume. This little kid knows how to flatter my heart.

“Your skin is so soft, you’re so hugable and smellable?” Smellable? Is that word even exist?

And randomly he will say “I am so glad you’re here, ate Princess”

Awww. My heart ❤️😭

My little brother is 7years old now. Grabbing that moments where he’s in love with his sister. Hugs, playmates, kisses and laughters. One day, he will be grown up and wouldn’t want to hold his ate Princess hand in public.

I made him promise few weeks ago that even he will be taller than his ate, he will still hold my hand, hug me and kiss me. I recorded a video, a proof that he will still be that sweet to me few years from now. 😂

Morning hugs and sweetness.

Mommy and I laughed with some nonsense topic, jokes that only us could understand while sipping our coffee ☕️ in the morning.

I am loving this. I wish I have this every single day. I will be here for 2 months more. I don’t want to leave but I am thankful that I experience this kind of morning.

The sweetest.

One day, my sister in Philippines, my brother in Aruba, me, my little brother and Mommy will sit down in the mornings while laughing, sipping our coffees, hugging each other. I am hopeful. God never fails.

Good life. Family time is always the best time ever. ❤️

Priceless.

Have a great day!

-Princess

Ang Bilis Naman

CCTO: Google Image

Akala ko kaya ko na ulit mawala e. Akala ko magagawa ko uli. Nagawa ko naman noon, ilang buwan ako ng tiis. Masaya pakiramdam ko, mas naging maayos ang naging buhay ko. Hindi ako na-apektuhan ng mga nangyayari sa paligid.

Umalis ako dahil gusto ko hanapin ang sarili ko, mas magkaron pa ako ng panahon para mag-meditate at mahalin ang sarili ko. Higit sa lahat para magamit ko ang oras ko ng tama.

Kaso, ang bilis nagbago ng isip ko sa pagkakataong ito. Hindi ko napanindigan ang ginawa ko. Bumalik pa rin ako.

Reaksyon nila. “Whattt?!!!” “Adik ka talaga”

Naiintindihan ko naman e. Ang bilis ko nagdesisyon, ilang araw lang binawi ko na rin agad. Eng eng lang!

Pero sa pagkakataong ito, isa pang aral ang natutunan ko, self-control and discipline.

Kaya naman nag-decide na ako na magkakaroon na ako ng oras sa pagbisita sakanya.

Nag-activate ulit ako sa Facebook, Instagram at Twitter. Pero nakasign-out lang silang lahat. Para hindi ako silip ng silip.

Yun lang naman. Ang bilis naman kasi ng pahinga ko. Pero nasa puso ko pa rin mas damihan ang time sa pag-seek kay God at maging productive. Addiction din kasi ang social media na to! 😂😝

Nagmamahal,

-Princess

Hindi Makatulog

Titignan ko kung hanggang saan ako aabot. I just deactivated my Facebook account, I deleted Facebook, Instagram and Twitter applications sa phone ko. Hihinga muna ako at paminsan minsan hindi ako makahinga sa social media.

While I am writing on my journal, napa-isip ako. Kahit wala ako trabaho sa ngayon, gusto kong i-grab itong opportunity to be refreshed and be restored, and to make good use of my time in seeking the One.

Nakaka-distract ang social media. Para sa akin, kung hindi ko matutunan manage ang time ko at kung may problema pa ako sa heart ko, hindi ako dapat natatambay sa mga social media gaya ng Facebook and Instagram.

Ako lang ba ito? Para bang may need na magpost at magbrowse. Dahil nga naging public na ang diary natin sa panahon ngayon by posting ng kung anu-ano, anong ginagawa natin, nasaan tayo, sino kasama etc., lahat alam na. Kapag may talent pa like photography, singing, dancing or even writing atbp, Aba naman talagang kanya kanyang pakitang gilas dito. (Hindi ako against. Gawin natin ang nagpapasaya sa atin)

Sa totoo lang.. nakakapagod minsan. Napapatanong ako? Bakit ba? Bakit ko ba kelangan magpost? Haha. Bakit ba kelangan ilagay kung saan ang destinasyon pag nagtravel? (Di ko pa yan nagawa! Ako nahihiya e! Kasi feeling ko nakakasakit ako sa iba. Yung iba gusto rin magtravel pero hindi keri. Kaya hindi ako nagpopost ng "traveling to.. ✈️ " 😂) Okay lang magpost nyan, personal view ko lang na not to let others feel sad or down, I don't specifically post yung ganyan. (Baka one day gagawin ko din yan!) At bakit ba pag nakanood ng isang video clip e talagang susunod-sunurin mo na yun mga sumusunod pang videos na trending? Tawa tawa kasi kadalasan mga funny videos, may mga touching stories din na iiyak ka.

I am not gonna lie pero parang pakiramdam ko nakakabaliw lang e! Ginagawa akong baliw. 😂 Iyak, tawa, iyak tawa! Minsan magagalit kapa pag nakaka- asar naman. Ang daming emosyon. Ibang klase ang Facebook. May mga panahon talaga na nagdedeactivate ako to take my time and stay away sa ingay.

Bakit ba kelangan gawin iyon? Bakit ba nagiging "need" na ang pagupdate ng buhay natin publicly?

Kung noon journal and devotional book, Bible ang una ko hahawakan pagbukas ng mata ko sa umaga, ngayon ay phone na agad at pag naumpisahan na makita may mga notifications aba naman di mo na namalayan isa o mahigit ilang oras kana natambay doon.

Wala akong balak pagandahin ang mga salita ko dito or kung ano ang tamang way to write this. Gusto ko lang mailabas itong paikot ikot sa isip ko. Takbo kasi ng takbo. Kelangan ilabas ko na. Wala ng edit edit. Kaya sorry kung ito lang ang kaya kong isulat.

Nastress pa ako dyan. Waley ako 'paki' sa mga oras na ito kung tama ba o mali ang pag construct ko ng sentence o ang grammar ko. Isa pa yan sa didib-dibin ko. Haha. Nawiwindang na nga ako. Tulad mo, iba kasi ang pakiramdam pag naisulat mo na. O diba? 😉

Meron akong dalawang buwan para ayusin ang sarili ko, magreflect at ma-refreshed ng bonggang bonga. Pinagpala ako makarating sa U.S.A., makapagbakasyon ng bonggacious ulit. Pinagpapahinga ako ni Lord sa lahat ng struggles na napagdaanan ko. Sabi nga ng friend ko, "Bumabawi sayo si Lord"

Parang sinasabi ni Lord sakin ngayon:
"Take your time. WordPress is enough. (yun talaga e no? 😂) Magpahinga ka sa kaguluhan at ingay ng mundo. I have been revealing myself and my word to you pero pag napasok na ang Facebook sa life mo or IG , nawawala ka na e. Hinay hinay lang, bes. Focus focus din. (Feeling ko ganyan ako kausapin ni Lord 😝)

God has been very patient with me. Dami kong "No" sakanya kapag may pinapagawa sya sakin. Pero patuloy pa rin nya ako kinakatok. Ang tigas kasi ng ulo.

So dahil dyan, magiging mas active ako sa WordPress ngayon. Dito naman ako hihinga.

Thank you for reading. ❤️

-Princess

A Time For Everything

"Mommy, I got my permit," I told her with so much joy.

"Oh wow! Congrats anak (Anak is a Tagalog word means child)"

"You know, I was checking flights, do you want to come over here?" She added.

For a moment, I was silent. Thoughts were immediately running through my head. "Really? Omg! I would love to." excitedly I answered.

The month of June was an overwhelming month for me. There are so many things to be thankful for. I got my permit by May which is important so I can stay legally in the beautiful island of Aruba. God is so good for He never failed me. It also means, I can have a vacation outside the island and can freely come back. He opened an opportunity for me to visit U.S.A. again.

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Princess is my name and with this good news, I really feel I am a princess. I love to share stories like this to inspire others. In human thoughts, it is impossible but with God, it is possible. Why is this big deal to me? I am not the kind of person who can afford to travel. I prayed for it. Yes, that's one thing I can boast about. God simply answered my prayer and what is amazing about it, he gave me more than I expected. God's favors are overwhelming. His love is so amazing. I am really God's princess and I am proud of it.

Few months before this, I had some depression season in my life.  I wrote An Open Letter to Myself and decided to get up again. It wasn't easy for me but the Lord has been so gracious and once again helped me to see what really important in life is. It is not about having a good career which I do pray for this a lot. I could say without hesitation that my career now isn't really going well. Who would love to admit that? But even I do not have a stable job, God never ceased to provide. He reminded me that money isn't everything we need. It is Him who is everything we need. Who would have thought that someone like me would see the beauty of America? And here's another thing, if I have a regular job right now, I wouldn't be able to visit my mom and stay here for few months. Everything happens for a reason. I couldn't understand that at first but the Lord answered my question on why I wasn't able to find a regular job yet? "Be patient" and "Be still" are His words to me. He knows what He is doing and He is not against me. HE is for me and he loves me. That is for sure.

I never complain about money, I grew up learning how to be content. I experienced having nothing so the Lord taught me to be grateful when I have something. God has a specific purpose why I experienced that season in my life. Now, he is just proving His love and I am appreciating Him more. It is not because of great blessings I received but thankful because in every season He never leaves me. He's always there and will always be.

"Some of the leaders from our church (Church of Zion Aruba) will attend a conference in Georgia for few days and it would be a good idea to join them," I told mommy.

 

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I did attend the Congregational Holiness Church General Conference 2017 before I went to Mommy's place. The conference was held in Georgia. It was truly the 'times of refreshing' for me and for the rest of the group. God knows that I needed this break and He filled my heart with joy and inspiration. It's a blessing to be here. It is not just for fun but I know for sure that this vacation isn't about pleasure only but a moment where He can reveal Himself to me in a very intimate way. Truly there is a time for everything. My cry time was over it is time to laugh and rejoice.

A Time for Everything

3 There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:

    a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,
    a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
    a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
    a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
    a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
    a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
    a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8

I will be writing about what I have learned and realizations from the conference on my next post. I will also post some photos of places, states we went to. There will be more. I am excited to post and share with you about God's surprises to me

I am still in the U.S.A. right now. There are so many things I want to share with you all guys!

Thank you for taking time reading my post. Blessings!

 

 

-Princess

“Why Me?” Or should I ask “Why not Me?”

It’s been a while, I know. I haven’t been writing on my blog these past few months. Well, who would notice, anyway? My last post was about getting myself back on track. I wrote an open letter for Princess, myself. It’s kind of connected with this post.

 

“Why Me?” “Why are you sending me here?” Why am I even here?” Living in Aruba for quite some years, the Lord might be tired of hearing me asking these questions to HIm? As if they weren’t answered. I can tell that God reveals His answers but sometimes I am just busy thinking about the situation without even realizing He’s been answering all this time. If only I take my time listening and hearing His voice instead of complaining and murmuring about the circumstances.

 

“Why Me?” I heard this again today from the missionaries we’ve met in the ship called LOGOS HOPE. It is a non-profit organization, international ship which brings knowledge and hope through literature. They sell books and at the same time ministering to people by their kindness and care to the people coming in the ship. You won’t only be happy by all the books in the library but also by their genuine and pure hearts that inspires me to keep believing and seeking God. Their passion in sharing hope and love of God is very exhilarating.

 

I’ve heard about it a long time ago but I didn’t have a chance to visit the ship. It visited Philippines, I believe. But I wasn’t able to go. Logos Hope was here in Aruba 7 years ago and I wasn’t here yet that time. Last April 21 up to today, May 7 they’re here in the island. And I am really blessed to have experienced the uplifting ambiance and admiring hospitality of the crew members. I needed this for all the seeking and healing process I’m going through. God just really know how to comfort me. Just in time, never early and never been late. Perfect timing.

 

I went in the ship like five or six times since they arrived in Aruba. I bought some books and they are not expensive. Thank God!  The first day I went, I was really really let me repeat again.. REALLY in awe. Looking around, observing every single crew in there doing their task for this ministry melt my heart once again. They are not paid. They are volunteers who gave their time and efforts, their lives for the Lord, following their calling in their lives and doing the will of God – sharing the good news. There are 400 or more crew members in the ship. Different nationalities and culture. They are meeting the world in the ship, actually. Isn’t it fascinating how God unite these people together with different languages and yet they have the common understanding that makes them united. JESUS. The love of God for them and for the people.

 

I think it is one of the bravest thing to do in one’s life. Leaving your family, love ones and your career behind for the sake of following Christ. Some of them are professionals but they left their  good jobs because they are called to seek the One and be the light to the World. They don’t think about the position but they have the hearts for service. A heart of a servant. They are doing what God’s will is. – to go and share the Gospel. These people are doing the right thing. Selflessly obeying God in their lives. Who wouldn’t melt their hearts towards these people?

 

“Why Me?” There will be times they will ask God why they are sent there. They are humans too. They feel sadness and loneliness as well. Homesickness will be very overwhelming for sure. But they are holding to God’s promises. They still find peace and joy. The more they feel it the more they run to the Lord which makes them more closer to Him. God’s revelations and wisdom are very active to their lives because all they do is to seek God in their lives while staying in the ship. They have personal and group devotions, worship times, lessons, Bible studies and discipleship lessons. And I love all these things.

 

One of the crew members is having a hard time ( I think everyone over there experience this) she was tired and sad, she went to the prayer room,grab her guitar, cried out and ask God, “Why Me?” She can’t speak English so well, She just started learning for nine months now. One of the requirements if you want to participate with them is  you can at least understand and speak English at a reasonable level.  God still sends her there, anyway. For the reasons? I don’t know why.  I’m sure that this is her training ground for more greater things in her life. And after days of crying to God, HE sent someone for her to be her teacher in English. They are now like sisters, caring for each other, building each other up. And yeah.. she is doing great because she can actually converse with other person now. When God calls you, HE will enable you.

 

Listening to their stories makes me ask a different question this time. “Why not me?” I admire them so much. Their courage and for being brave are inspiring. The third time I was in the ship, we attended a prayer event called “Pray for the Nation” we prayed for some unreachable countries like North Korea, Venezuela and more to open doors of opportunities to share the good news. We also prayed for what the world is going through like poverty, addiction, slavery, human trafficking etc. that people would know that there is hope in life. JESUS is the answer. He is the only one who can heal us within. And after the event, we got home and all. I was about to sleep, turned off my lights, but my heart is still overwhelmed. I prayed and I cried so hard like a baby on my bed. I needed this. I needed that moment. I missed that time where my heart’s only desire is to obey Him , to seek Him and to love Him. I was like a baby crying and telling him everything I feel. I felt so bad for not doing anything for His kingdom, I felt so sorry for not loving the lost anymore, I sobbed for I know God is calling me to do His will but I am to stubborn. I only look on my ugly situation, I only care about myself. While others are suffering and dying from starving, from the abuse of the evil, children are being forced to work for some countries, little ones who can’t see the beauty of life because they are abused, people who are broken and don’t see their worth so they end up hurting themselves, found their happiness in the wrong ones like pornography, smoking and alcohol and drug  addiction, shopping and everything they think will complete them. They are lost. And what am I doing? I live in fear, no confidence to speak about the truth, keeping to myself. Am I being selfish? I know the goodness of God. But I wasn’t on my self these years, I cried all the time to seek and know what was this thing that He wanted me to do. There is something inside of me that I know He wants me to share , to get out on my shell and see the world and do something..

 

“Why Not Me?” I want to be part of this ministry. Who wouldn’t like? But is this something God wants or just me? I prayed and told Him wherever I go, I want to be a channel of His blessings. I will speak what He says, I will go where He goes. At the end of my prayer  “I want to be with you” I want to know you more” ” I want to do your will” It doesn’t need to be in Logos Hope. All I want is to be with you. I was lost and weak because I didn’t want to follow Him, I lost my motivation because I only look at myself. But these days since I came to that amazing ship, God has been talking to me,  God has been shaking me and getting me back on track. He’s revealing me His words and promises to me “Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalms 37:4

 

I believe that everyone is called for a specific task in this life. It’s just a matter of obedience. If it’s God”s will for me to be in the ship one day, it’ll happen and he will give me confirmation through His word, prayers, from the people around me. Just like one of the staff in the ship told us. For the meantime, while living in Aruba with a different culture and language, I have to know and seek my purpose here. I am sure that I am not only here for work. He’s been telling me to do something but I still didn’t. I pray and you can also pray for/with me that the Lord will give me the courage to do His will in this island.

 

I can say that the island is so beautiful. Life in here is easy and relaxing. Some Filipinos call this place as milk and honey place where abundance is present everywhere. I am thankful and grateful for that but life isn’t all about it. Aruba is called One Happy Island. Like what I have said I am grateful for the opportunity to be able to enjoy the beauty of God’s creation. But for me, this is also called “Temptation Island” where everybody is busy making money, making life very comfortable, relaxing, bars everywhere, prostitution in a certain place which is legal here. It is very comfortable that not everyone is willing to take time to gather for the name of the Lord. I honestly got used of being relaxed. But in my heart I know that this isn’t life for me. I want to see people , Christians who are willing to give their time for the work of the Lord, who can really take time teaching people about the knowledge of God, who worship God in Spirit &truth not a performance, I want to see a generation in this island who seek God and knows God’s holiness. IF I want to see it, I must begin to be one.

 

“Why me?” shouldn’t be ask this time. Should I ask “Why not me?” If God can use those missionaries in the ship mightily because they are willing and made themselves available? Why not me?” It doesn’t have to be in the ship. If God calls you, he will enable you. It would be great if one day I can participate with them but now my mission field is in Aruba. A revelation that God has been telling me that didn’t get in to me until Logos Hope arrived. Thank you so much for this ministry. You guys are amazing Logos Hope!! 🙂